The Soccer Mom SUV Thread

[Swaye]

View attachment 46490

Friends I’ve known say land rovers are just plain fucked up engineering. Things like to replace a tire you have to disconnect the taillights and catalytic converter. Look bad ass and better off road than a jeep, but they break easily.

Another friend owned a porche and changing the spark plugs was like 1500 bucks. Had to lower the engine to get to them so some stupid shit.

Two points of contention. I do not think a Land Rover is better off road than a Jeep. A Rubicon is still the most capable off road machine per dollar spent you can buy. And is just straight up better than a Defender. And anything else besides a Defender is a mall crawler not an off road machine. Live axles will always beat IFS. Rubicons are geared MUCH better and have much better articulation. Approach and departure angles are a wash. Nothing beats a Rubicon off road for anywhere near the same money. I've rock crawled my entire life and seen everything there is on the trails. 30 years ago yes Defenders and FJs were as good or better. Not now.
https://www.motortrend.com/news/2020-land-rover-defender-vs-2019-jeep-wrangler-rubicon/

Second. There will be no shit talk of Porsche, even if it's true. And to be fair I think Porsche maintenance costs are in line with their overall cost. Sure they are quite a bit higher than Toyota, but these are 150-200K cars, not 30K Camry's. Talk to Ferrari guys about absurd maintenance costs. Want true insanity? Buy a Bugatti Veyron. 21K for an oil change.
https://www.topspeed.com/cars/car-n...nge-is-done-on-a-bugatti-veyron-ar181881.html

Weird soft target hit point to me.

Porsches also feel like I’m in an episode of knight rider from 1987. In fact I was stunned by how…cheap the interior felt. I kept thinking this is really a Golf with a boob job.

Really? Porsche leather is pretty well known for being exceptional. If you go sit in a 911 and then sit in a top of the line Vette (even the new one I have a buddy who owns one) it takes about 12 seconds to see which interior is superior, and it isn't the Vette. I will admit the interior of a 911 won't be confused with a luxury Mercedes or a Bentley though.

My love for you is strong. Like my boner.

 

[Swaye]

Man we are talking live axles, crawl ratios and Porsche maintenance costs in a soccer Mom SUV thread. Glad I started this thread. I figured it might be fun. Soccer Moms....ahhhhh.....

 

[PurpleThrobber]

View attachment 46490

Friends I’ve known say land rovers are just plain fucked up engineering. Things like to replace a tire you have to disconnect the taillights and catalytic converter. Look bad ass and better off road than a jeep, but they break easily.

Another friend owned a porche and changing the spark plugs was like 1500 bucks. Had to lower the engine to get to them so some stupid shit.

Two points of contention. I do not think a Land Rover is better off road than a Jeep. A Rubicon is still the most capable off road machine per dollar spent you can buy. And is just straight up better than a Defender. And anything else besides a Defender is a mall crawler not an off road machine. Live axles will always beat IFS. Rubicons are geared MUCH better and have much better articulation. Approach and departure angles are a wash. Nothing beats a Rubicon off road for anywhere near the same money. I've rock crawled my entire life and seen everything there is on the trails. 30 years ago yes Defenders and FJs were as good or better. Not now.
https://www.motortrend.com/news/2020-land-rover-defender-vs-2019-jeep-wrangler-rubicon/

Second. There will be no shit talk of Porsche, even if it's true. And to be fair I think Porsche maintenance costs are in line with their overall cost. Sure they are quite a bit higher than Toyota, but these are 150-200K cars, not 30K Camry's. Talk to Ferrari guys about absurd maintenance costs. Want true insanity? Buy a Bugatti Veyron. 21K for an oil change.
https://www.topspeed.com/cars/car-n...nge-is-done-on-a-bugatti-veyron-ar181881.html

Weird soft target hit point to me.

Porsches also feel like I’m in an episode of knight rider from 1987. In fact I was stunned by how…cheap the interior felt. I kept thinking this is really a Golf with a boob job.

View attachment 6695


If you're bashing golf and boob jobs, I'm out.

 

[TurdBomber]

I'm bashing iWatches and any women who wear them.

Hot or not, they have no taste or sense.

 

[YellowSnow]

I'm bashing iWatches and any women who wear them.

Hot or not, they have no taste or sense.

The one time I will agree with @TurdBomber on watches.

 

[Swaye]

I'm bashing iWatches and any women who wear them.

Hot or not, they have no taste or sense.

The one time I will agree with @TurdBomber on watches.

Apple watches are so terrible. I mean fuck it just kill yourself instead.

 

[DerekJohnson]

Also lots of Mazda love here. Anyone else got any favorites to own, or dream machines they would like to own?

I would love one of these some day

Had an Audi 5000 back in the early 90's. Blowing down the Ellensburg to Vantage stretch at 120 mph was fun as hell.

Had an Audi A4 circa 2009 to 2014. Loved that vehicle. Should have bumped up to the A5 but wasn't @HarveyRoad rich at the time.

The Germans make good shit.

I went to Arizona for ten days in 2019 and rented a Corolla. But when I got to the rental place, they offered me a free upgrade to a 2018 Audi. I really enjoyed driving that around the Valley.

 

[YellowSnow]

I'm bashing iWatches and any women who wear them.

Hot or not, they have no taste or sense.

The one time I will agree with @TurdBomber on watches.

Apple watches are so terrible. I mean fuck it just kill yourself instead.

That’s what I tell my wife, while her Rolex languishes in the safe.

 

[dflea]

My wife wore out her Tahoe and decided to get another Tahoe because she likes hauling around a million square feet of empty space wherever she goes.

The heated and air conditioned seats are nice, the HUD is kinda cool, and it's comfy to drive or ride in, but holy fuck - what's with all the bells and flashing lights and all the ridiculous fuckery of telling me when I'm following too closely or riding the center line? I know what I'm fucking doing, you stupid piece of shit. You don't need to tell me about it.

I'm next for the new ride. My Tacoma is going to hit 390k this week and it's starting to feel a little tired. I'm hoping to keep it going until the supply chain shit show calms down and prices drop a bit, but who knows. If it takes a shit today, I've got my money's worth out of it. 40 to 50 grand seems like a lot for a midsize truck, but I guess it makes sense if a Jeep can cost 120 g's.

 

[YellowSnow]

View attachment 46490

Friends I’ve known say land rovers are just plain fucked up engineering. Things like to replace a tire you have to disconnect the taillights and catalytic converter. Look bad ass and better off road than a jeep, but they break easily.

Another friend owned a porche and changing the spark plugs was like 1500 bucks. Had to lower the engine to get to them so some stupid shit.

Two points of contention. I do not think a Land Rover is better off road than a Jeep. A Rubicon is still the most capable off road machine per dollar spent you can buy. And is just straight up better than a Defender. And anything else besides a Defender is a mall crawler not an off road machine. Live axles will always beat IFS. Rubicons are geared MUCH better and have much better articulation. Approach and departure angles are a wash. Nothing beats a Rubicon off road for anywhere near the same money. I've rock crawled my entire life and seen everything there is on the trails. 30 years ago yes Defenders and FJs were as good or better. Not now.
https://www.motortrend.com/news/2020-land-rover-defender-vs-2019-jeep-wrangler-rubicon/

Second. There will be no shit talk of Porsche, even if it's true. And to be fair I think Porsche maintenance costs are in line with their overall cost. Sure they are quite a bit higher than Toyota, but these are 150-200K cars, not 30K Camry's. Talk to Ferrari guys about absurd maintenance costs. Want true insanity? Buy a Bugatti Veyron. 21K for an oil change.
https://www.topspeed.com/cars/car-n...nge-is-done-on-a-bugatti-veyron-ar181881.html

We? need to stop the chinsanity about what is means to use an SUV "off road". You're right that high percentage of the soccer mom SUVs and Crossovers are mall crawlers and rarely touch dirt.

And I will be the first to admit that I don't no jack shit about rock crawler and neither does my 4Skinner (hi @creepycoug). But guys like me and @dflea do use off them payment a lot to get to the local fishing hole or deliverance camp site. I've gone plenty of places where the Subaru Outbacks would have not been happy.

And if you live somewhere where there can be deep snow the clearance and locking rear differential can save your us. I drove a 3rd Gen 4 Runner through like 3 feet of unplowed plowed snow for 25 yards once.

 

[Swaye]

View attachment 46490

Friends I’ve known say land rovers are just plain fucked up engineering. Things like to replace a tire you have to disconnect the taillights and catalytic converter. Look bad ass and better off road than a jeep, but they break easily.

Another friend owned a porche and changing the spark plugs was like 1500 bucks. Had to lower the engine to get to them so some stupid shit.

Two points of contention. I do not think a Land Rover is better off road than a Jeep. A Rubicon is still the most capable off road machine per dollar spent you can buy. And is just straight up better than a Defender. And anything else besides a Defender is a mall crawler not an off road machine. Live axles will always beat IFS. Rubicons are geared MUCH better and have much better articulation. Approach and departure angles are a wash. Nothing beats a Rubicon off road for anywhere near the same money. I've rock crawled my entire life and seen everything there is on the trails. 30 years ago yes Defenders and FJs were as good or better. Not now.
https://www.motortrend.com/news/2020-land-rover-defender-vs-2019-jeep-wrangler-rubicon/

Second. There will be no shit talk of Porsche, even if it's true. And to be fair I think Porsche maintenance costs are in line with their overall cost. Sure they are quite a bit higher than Toyota, but these are 150-200K cars, not 30K Camry's. Talk to Ferrari guys about absurd maintenance costs. Want true insanity? Buy a Bugatti Veyron. 21K for an oil change.
https://www.topspeed.com/cars/car-n...nge-is-done-on-a-bugatti-veyron-ar181881.html

We? need to stop the chinsanity about what is means to use an SUV "off road". You're right that high percentage of the soccer mom SUVs and Crossovers are mall crawlers and rarely touch dirt.

And I will be the first to admit that I don't no jack shit about rock crawler and neither does my 4Skinner (hi @creepycoug). But guys like me and @dflea do use off them payment a lot to get to the local fishing hole or deliverance camp site. I've gone plenty of places where the Subaru Outbacks would have not been happy.

And if you live somewhere where there can be deep snow the clearance and locking rear differential can save your us. I drove a 3rd Gen 4 Runner through like 3 feet of unplowed plowed snow for 25 yards once.

I realized I never added the "in the land rover range" to my Defender thing way back. I have corrected that mistake. Plenty of other very capable off road platforms from lots of makers. Just not Land Rover. Sans the reintroduced Defender they decided to become the vehicle of wealthy suburban white women and NBA players, not off road capable machines.

 

[RaceBannon]

The Sprinter office

View attachment 46489

My neighbor works/lives like that four days per week then flies home. Literally sleeps in his Sprinter office.

Fuck that.

Not the case

A simple 60-80 mile trek around So Cal can take 3-6 hours on the road in the Greater LA area

Being able to work while the driver drives is an incredible efficiency

If I was still all in the game I'd have one

 

[YellowSnow]

The Sprinter office

View attachment 46489

My neighbor works/lives like that four days per week then flies home. Literally sleeps in his Sprinter office.

Fuck that.

Not the case

A simple 60-80 mile trek around So Cal can take 3-6 hours on the road in the Greater LA area

Being able to work while the driver drives is an incredible efficiency

If I was still all in the game I'd have one

I hear helicopters are the way to beat the LA traffic.

 

[Swaye]

The Sprinter office

View attachment 46489

My neighbor works/lives like that four days per week then flies home. Literally sleeps in his Sprinter office.

Fuck that.

Not the case

A simple 60-80 mile trek around So Cal can take 3-6 hours on the road in the Greater LA area

Being able to work while the driver drives is an incredible efficiency

If I was still all in the game I'd have one

I hear helicopters are the way to beat the LA traffic.

@KobeBryantDWAG true?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

 

[PurpleThrobber]

The Sprinter office

View attachment 46489

My neighbor works/lives like that four days per week then flies home. Literally sleeps in his Sprinter office.

Fuck that.

Not the case

A simple 60-80 mile trek around So Cal can take 3-6 hours on the road in the Greater LA area

Being able to work while the driver drives is an incredible efficiency

If I was still all in the game I'd have one

This guy lives in the 509, flies over to SEA on Monday mornings and lives out of the damned thing until Thursday night. The working it in part is cool - the living in it, not so much.

 

[UW_Doog_Bot]

View attachment 46490

Friends I’ve known say land rovers are just plain fucked up engineering. Things like to replace a tire you have to disconnect the taillights and catalytic converter. Look bad ass and better off road than a jeep, but they break easily.

Another friend owned a porche and changing the spark plugs was like 1500 bucks. Had to lower the engine to get to them so some stupid shit.

Two points of contention. I do not think a Land Rover is better off road than a Jeep. A Rubicon is still the most capable off road machine per dollar spent you can buy. And is just straight up better than a Defender. And anything else besides a Defender (in the Land Rover catalogue fix for @YellowSnow ) is a mall crawler not an off road machine. Live axles will always beat IFS. Rubicons are geared MUCH better and have much better articulation. Approach and departure angles are a wash. Nothing beats a Rubicon off road for anywhere near the same money. I've rock crawled my entire life and seen everything there is on the trails. 30 years ago yes Defenders and FJs were as good or better. Not now.
https://www.motortrend.com/news/2020-land-rover-defender-vs-2019-jeep-wrangler-rubicon/

Second. There will be no shit talk of Porsche, even if it's true. And to be fair I think Porsche maintenance costs are in line with their overall cost. Sure they are quite a bit higher than Toyota, but these are 150-200K cars, not 30K Camry's. Talk to Ferrari guys about absurd maintenance costs. Want true insanity? Buy a Bugatti Veyron. 21K for an oil change.
https://www.topspeed.com/cars/car-n...nge-is-done-on-a-bugatti-veyron-ar181881.html

Counterpoint. US Land Rovers are hot garbage. In part because of all the red tape around selling cars in the US market. Also, because in the US the brand is for people who want the appearance of being rugged without actually going off road. All hat no cattle.

Overseas Land Rovers? Fucking bullet proof off road tanks you can fix with bubble gum and a hammer.

Spent A LOT of time off roading in South Africa and Land Rovers were the gold standard bar none and gave me a lot of respect for why they have that reputation.

Nothing like taking a Rover deep into the bush(lulz) and sleeping under the open stars while listening to the Lions and Hyenas battle it out over who gets to eat your face in the dark.

 

[dflea]

I've pressed the Rear Differential Lock button twice since I've had my Tacoma. In both cases, I'd have been fucked without it. When you drive around rivers and river bars a lot, there are times when last year's mud puddle becomes this year's mud bog. Last fall I sunk it in a mud hole and had water coming in the doors and shit until the RDL button got pressed, then that fucker shot mud from all 4 corners and plowed right out of there. That cost me a few hours with the shop vac and garden hose.

Don't do that shit with your wife's rig. She'll be pissed.

 

[PurpleThrobber]

I've pressed the Rear Differential Lock button twice since I've had my Tacoma. In both cases, I'd have been fucked without it. When you drive around rivers and river bars a lot, there are times when last year's mud puddle becomes this year's mud bog. Last fall I sunk it in a mud hole and had water coming in the doors and shit until the RDL button got pressed, then that fucker shot mud from all 4 corners and plowed right out of there. That cost me a few hours with the shop vac and garden hose.

Don't do that shit with your wife's rig. She'll be pissed.

Don't tear out in your wife's mud bog?!?

Hell, i'm lucky to get a handy every couple weeks.

 

[UW_Doog_Bot]

I've pressed the Rear Differential Lock button twice since I've had my Tacoma. In both cases, I'd have been fucked without it. When you drive around rivers and river bars a lot, there are times when last year's mud puddle becomes this year's mud bog. Last fall I sunk it in a mud hole and had water coming in the doors and shit until the RDL button got pressed, then that fucker shot mud from all 4 corners and plowed right out of there. That cost me a few hours with the shop vac and garden hose.

Don't do that shit with your wife's rig. She'll be pissed.

My first car was an 81' Isuzu Pup with a 2.7 diesel, 4 wheel hi/low, and a front/rear locking dif you had to get out and physically change over.

That thing was the bog king and I swear to god could have driven up a wall all stock. My 1st gear low red lined at 5mph. Memories of boating it through the mud while larger trucks got stuck back when OC still had farms and open fields everywhere.

My family actually brought it down from Washington and my dad has all kinds of stories of its heroics going up Mt. Baker and over Skykomish. Miss that fucking thing.

 

[Swaye]

View attachment 46490

Friends I’ve known say land rovers are just plain fucked up engineering. Things like to replace a tire you have to disconnect the taillights and catalytic converter. Look bad ass and better off road than a jeep, but they break easily.

Another friend owned a porche and changing the spark plugs was like 1500 bucks. Had to lower the engine to get to them so some stupid shit.

Two points of contention. I do not think a Land Rover is better off road than a Jeep. A Rubicon is still the most capable off road machine per dollar spent you can buy. And is just straight up better than a Defender. And anything else besides a Defender (in the Land Rover catalogue fix for @YellowSnow ) is a mall crawler not an off road machine. Live axles will always beat IFS. Rubicons are geared MUCH better and have much better articulation. Approach and departure angles are a wash. Nothing beats a Rubicon off road for anywhere near the same money. I've rock crawled my entire life and seen everything there is on the trails. 30 years ago yes Defenders and FJs were as good or better. Not now.
https://www.motortrend.com/news/2020-land-rover-defender-vs-2019-jeep-wrangler-rubicon/

Second. There will be no shit talk of Porsche, even if it's true. And to be fair I think Porsche maintenance costs are in line with their overall cost. Sure they are quite a bit higher than Toyota, but these are 150-200K cars, not 30K Camry's. Talk to Ferrari guys about absurd maintenance costs. Want true insanity? Buy a Bugatti Veyron. 21K for an oil change.
https://www.topspeed.com/cars/car-n...nge-is-done-on-a-bugatti-veyron-ar181881.html

Counterpoint. US Land Rovers are hot garbage. In part because of all the red tape around selling cars in the US market. Also, because in the US the brand is for people who want the appearance of being rugged without actually going off road. All hat no cattle.

Overseas Land Rovers? Fucking bullet proof off road tanks you can fix with bubble gum and a hammer.

Spent A LOT of time off roading in South Africa and Land Rovers were the gold standard bar none and gave me a lot of respect for why they have that reputation.

Nothing like taking a Rover deep into the bush(lulz) and sleeping under the open stars while listening to the Lions and Hyenas battle it out over who gets to eat your face in the dark.

To be fair I never drove Land Rovers overseas. I blew them up.