New Hardcore Husky advice column

Dear @HardcoreAnnLanders,
Many of the people I hang out with online are 35-and-older men who like to stalk teen bois and post about it on their degenerate message bored. Is this something I should be concerned about, or should I join in the fun?

Regards,

Hitchhiking in Enumclaw
Click to expand...

Dear HIE,

I don’t know how to break this to you gently, so I’ll be blunt: your online friends are most likely apart of some pedophile ring. Unless you want to be some prisoner’s bitch over in Walla Walla, I recommend you partake in more wholesome activities - like attending grade school beauty pageants.
 
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View attachment 37058

Salutem HardcoreAnnLanders

I am VI foot V former Roman Caesar and Julian Dynastia Star. I warred at the highest level in a Gladitorium State.

Before Romulus and Remus there was Aeneas, son of Venus, a Trojan who fought in the Trojan War - a valiant
hero who sired the ancestors of Latium.

I am hearing that one Sam Darnold, a barbaricus, lives for FORUMS such as these. Furthermore, that he plied his
professio in the COLLOSEUM, and warred with the Trojans. My shades have been watching live and in transitum
buttfucker.

I am here to decree that these imposters and plebes stop appropriating our cultura. In other verbis, find the era
where this belongs. Stop plagiarism our shit you barbitus cunts ya. Tell them they are little more than timidus
cattus - that they really don't want any in real life.
Click to expand...

Dear Octavian,

I like your style. You’re far more entertaining than these other mouth breathers that write to me. However, you might want to consider taking up your grievances on the Half Brain History or Tug Tavern message boards. Keep your comments brief and on point, or one of the Germanic moderators might delete your post.
 
View attachment 37058

Salutem HardcoreAnnLanders

I am VI foot V former Roman Caesar and Julian Dynastia Star. I warred at the highest level in a Gladitorium State.

Before Romulus and Remus there was Aeneas, son of Venus, a Trojan who fought in the Trojan War - a valiant
hero who sired the ancestors of Latium.

I am hearing that one Sam Darnold, a barbaricus, lives for FORUMS such as these. Furthermore, that he plied his
professio in the COLLOSEUM, and warred with the Trojans. My shades have been watching live and in transitum
buttfucker.

I am here to decree that these imposters and plebes stop appropriating our cultura. In other verbis, find the era
where this belongs. Stop plagiarism our shit you barbitus cunts ya. Tell them they are little more than timidus
cattus - that they really don't want any in real life.
Click to expand...

Dear Octavian,

I like your style. You’re far more entertaining than these other mouth breathers that write to me. However, you might want to consider taking up your grievances on the Half Brain History or Tug Tavern message boards. Keep your comments brief and on point, or one of the Germanic moderators might delete your post.
Click to expand...

We can't take him anywhere
 
Dear @HardcoreAnnLanders

My name is CuntWaffle and I have diabetes. It hurts me to pee and causes me to be short with my family. I can't sleep at night. The other day I stubbed my toe and took it out on the dog. And two weeks ago I ran out of vanilla ice cream and struck my wife. Then I found out my wife I has been dead for 6 years. Who the hell did I hit?
 
Dear @HardcoreAnnLanders

There is this girl I really like. She's really sexy, witty, smart, and stylish. I've been stalking her for several years. She has had me arrested a few tims, but I'm pretty sure that is how she flirts. She also got a restraining order against me, which I of course saw as moving our relationship into the foreplay category. I was going through her trash last week, and noticed she recently got a concealed carry permit. This turn of events made me quite happy. Our relationship is elevating in her mind I'm sure of it. I do not want you to think all is rosy in our relationship however. I was tracking her movements via a GPS device I installed under her car, and noticed recently it kept going to the same place. So I followed her, keeping 500 yards separation of course like any good court ordered boyfriend would, and she ended up in some bushes outside of someones house, peering into the windows. I hacked the DMV servers to figure out it's some guy named Vorel. Is our love doomed?

The King of the Camelot Trailer Court
Click to expand...

Dear TKOTCTC,

While this woman you described sounds incredible, I doubt you’d continue to feel so enamored with the barrel of her Glock 19 9mm handgun pressed up against your dick. Give her some space. Let her get this Vorel person out of her system. Then when she’s in a crying heap on the floor of the 520 Bar & Grill, utterly convinced she’ll never find love again, that’s when you make your move.
Click to expand...

Wait for her life to be a complete and total dumpster fire, then make my move! This is great advice Ann. Just curious, where do you live?
 
Dear @HardcoreAnnLanders

Does tossing salad make you gay? Asking for 81% of HH

Will take my answer on the air.
Click to expand...

Dear Mr. Cohen,

By “tossing the salad” I presume you are referring to the oral sex act of anilingus, and not the literal preparation of lettuce leaves for a meal. While you can also give a rim job to woman, based on your question I’m going to assume you are performing the act with a male partner. But even then, that does not necessarily make you a homosexual/bisexual/or pansexual. There’s plenty of men that are “gay for pay” like you.
 
Dear @HardcoreAnnLanders

My name is CuntWaffle and I have diabetes. It hurts me to pee and causes me to be short with my family. I can't sleep at night. The other day I stubbed my toe and took it out on the dog. And two weeks ago I ran out of vanilla ice cream and struck my wife. Then I found out my wife I has been dead for 6 years. Who the hell did I hit?
Click to expand...

Dear Mr. Waffle,

If you do not know the name of the person you just assaulted, good manners dictate that you introduce yourself. The other party will need that information when filing their police report.
 
Dear @HardcoreAnnLanders

There is this girl I really like. She's really sexy, witty, smart, and stylish. I've been stalking her for several years. She has had me arrested a few tims, but I'm pretty sure that is how she flirts. She also got a restraining order against me, which I of course saw as moving our relationship into the foreplay category. I was going through her trash last week, and noticed she recently got a concealed carry permit. This turn of events made me quite happy. Our relationship is elevating in her mind I'm sure of it. I do not want you to think all is rosy in our relationship however. I was tracking her movements via a GPS device I installed under her car, and noticed recently it kept going to the same place. So I followed her, keeping 500 yards separation of course like any good court ordered boyfriend would, and she ended up in some bushes outside of someones house, peering into the windows. I hacked the DMV servers to figure out it's some guy named Vorel. Is our love doomed?

The King of the Camelot Trailer Court
Click to expand...

Dear TKOTCTC,

While this woman you described sounds incredible, I doubt you’d continue to feel so enamored with the barrel of her Glock 19 9mm handgun pressed up against your dick. Give her some space. Let her get this Vorel person out of her system. Then when she’s in a crying heap on the floor of the 520 Bar & Grill, utterly convinced she’ll never find love again, that’s when you make your move.
Click to expand...

Wait for her life to be a complete and total dumpster fire, then make my move! This is great advice Ann. Just curious, where do you live?
Click to expand...

Dear TKOTCTC,

At the corner of Fuck Off Ave. and Never Going to Happen Street.
 
Dear @HardcoreAnnLanders

There is this girl I really like. She's really sexy, witty, smart, and stylish. I've been stalking her for several years. She has had me arrested a few tims, but I'm pretty sure that is how she flirts. She also got a restraining order against me, which I of course saw as moving our relationship into the foreplay category. I was going through her trash last week, and noticed she recently got a concealed carry permit. This turn of events made me quite happy. Our relationship is elevating in her mind I'm sure of it. I do not want you to think all is rosy in our relationship however. I was tracking her movements via a GPS device I installed under her car, and noticed recently it kept going to the same place. So I followed her, keeping 500 yards separation of course like any good court ordered boyfriend would, and she ended up in some bushes outside of someones house, peering into the windows. I hacked the DMV servers to figure out it's some guy named Vorel. Is our love doomed?

The King of the Camelot Trailer Court
Click to expand...

Dear TKOTCTC,

While this woman you described sounds incredible, I doubt you’d continue to feel so enamored with the barrel of her Glock 19 9mm handgun pressed up against your dick. Give her some space. Let her get this Vorel person out of her system. Then when she’s in a crying heap on the floor of the 520 Bar & Grill, utterly convinced she’ll never find love again, that’s when you make your move.
Click to expand...

Wait for her life to be a complete and total dumpster fire, then make my move! This is great advice Ann. Just curious, where do you live?
Click to expand...

Dear TKOTCTC,

At the corner of Fuck Off Ave. and Never Going to Happen Street.
Click to expand...

SneakyHandsomeAssassinbug-size_restricted.gif

 
Dear @HardcoreAnnLanders,

I'm new to hardcore husky. While everybody has been unbelievably welcoming and remarkably cordial so far, I was wondering if you could give me some tips on how to make friends around here?

Yours truly,
Longhorn who just wants to be loved.
 
Dear @HardcoreAnnLanders,

I'm new to hardcore husky. While everybody has been unbelievably welcoming and remarkably cordial so far, I was wondering if you could give me some tips on how to make friends around here?

Yours truly,
Longhorn who just wants to be loved.
Click to expand...

Listen shit dick, the only obsession going on around here is you and this site. Most guys post here and there, you post here in scary fashion. Gives u a reason to pound after a day at the SurlyHorns office. You see your post total and scream up to your dads with pride. "Dad I'm up to 10 posts", while your partner cries with happiness.
 
Dear @HardcoreAnnLanders,

I'm new to hardcore husky. While everybody has been unbelievably welcoming and remarkably cordial so far, I was wondering if you could give me some tips on how to make friends around here?

Yours truly,
Longhorn who just wants to be loved.
Click to expand...

Dear LWJWTBL,

It sounds like you’re off to a good start with forging lifelong friendships. One of the biggest things you can do is try to find some commonalities and shared interests with these dipshits. You strike me as a bit of prick, so I doubt that will be hard. Discuss Steve Sarkisian, defensive coordinators, maybe trade nude pictures of your wives, or divulge your homoerotic fantasies. Just be patient. Close bonds are not formed overnight.
 
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Dear @HardcoreAnnLanders,

I'm new to hardcore husky. While everybody has been unbelievably welcoming and remarkably cordial so far, I was wondering if you could give me some tips on how to make friends around here?

Yours truly,
Longhorn who just wants to be loved.
Click to expand...

Listen shit dick, the only obsession going on around here is you and this site. Most guys post here and there, you post here in scary fashion. Gives u a reason to pound after a day at the SurlyHorns office. You see your post total and scream up to your dads with pride. "Dad I'm up to 10 posts", while your partner cries with happiness.
Click to expand...

Leave this to the professionals.
 
Dear @HardcoreAnnLanders,

I'm new to hardcore husky. While everybody has been unbelievably welcoming and remarkably cordial so far, I was wondering if you could give me some tips on how to make friends around here?

Yours truly,
Longhorn who just wants to be loved.
Click to expand...

Listen shit dick, the only obsession going on around here is you and this site. Most guys post here and there, you post here in scary fashion. Gives u a reason to pound after a day at the SurlyHorns office. You see your post total and scream up to your dads with pride. "Dad I'm up to 10 posts", while your partner cries with happiness.
Click to expand...

Leave this to the professionals[/s] experts.
Click to expand...

2020 version

 
Dear @HardcoreAnnLanders,

I'm new to hardcore husky. While everybody has been unbelievably welcoming and remarkably cordial so far, I was wondering if you could give me some tips on how to make friends around here?

Yours truly,
Longhorn who just wants to be loved.
Click to expand...

Listen shit dick, the only obsession going on around here is you and this site. Most guys post here and there, you post here in scary fashion. Gives u a reason to pound after a day at the SurlyHorns office. You see your post total and scream up to your dads with pride. "Dad I'm up to 10 posts", while your partner cries with happiness.
Click to expand...

Leave this to the professionals.
Click to expand...

Leave the postin' to the people, Putin??? XOXO LOL BFF!!
 
Dear @HardcoreAnnLanders,
Many of the people I hang out with online are 35-and-older men who like to stalk teen bois and post about it on their degenerate message bored. Is this something I should be concerned about, or should I join in the fun?

Regards,

Hitchhiking in Enumclaw
Click to expand...

Dear HIE,

I don’t know how to break this to you gently, so I’ll be blunt: your online friends are most likely apart of some pedophile ring. Unless you want to be some prisoner’s bitch over in Walla Walla, I recommend you partake in more wholesome activities - like attending grade school beauty pageants.
Click to expand...

I disagree with this. I won’t pull any punches and I’ll be
i8n3t21u0w5c.gif

This is a much healthier environment than child beauty pageants. Strong family values are promoted, and adding the Brazzers logo is frowned upon.
5tztveamij56.jpeg

The bond between father and son is celebrated.
d0poofgzkhr2.jpeg

I will admit there are some similarities. A lot of energy is devoted in both pageants and TBSing to discussing who is fat, but here it is done out of genuine concern. No one roots for injuries.

Pageants are a very homogenous social circle, and in contrast this is a melting pot. The variety of fake black men alone makes this one of the top ten most diverse football forums that also gets confused for a furry porn hosting site.

There are a lot of educated people here, all the way up to TCU MBAs. A wide variety of knowledge exists here. Ranging from experts on drug dealing, skin conditions related to drug use, Bitcoin, small East Coast liberal arts colleges, and internet cyber security. It has inspired me to develop an app with push notifications. It tells you when a wheelchair and stairs are near you.

The people here are Nebraska classy. They have a forum called the Kobestopper Cafe and the logo has not been changed to the outline of a Sikorsky. The significant percentage of mentally ill visitors are treated like equals. Everyone is super nice, even the visiting Duck fans like myself; always willing to help people find employment at our Chevrons.

Besides, if you wind up at the state pen it might not be that bad. I’m assuming it will be mostly Cuog fans from Spokane, so you can talk shit. There is even a chance that your cell mate will be the weaker one and you know what that means: top bunk.

hfug39ucgtks.gif
 
Dear @HardcoreAnnLanders,
Many of the people I hang out with online are 35-and-older men who like to stalk teen bois and post about it on their degenerate message bored. Is this something I should be concerned about, or should I join in the fun?

Regards,

Hitchhiking in Enumclaw
Click to expand...

Dear HIE,

I don’t know how to break this to you gently, so I’ll be blunt: your online friends are most likely apart of some pedophile ring. Unless you want to be some prisoner’s bitch over in Walla Walla, I recommend you partake in more wholesome activities - like attending grade school beauty pageants.
Click to expand...

I disagree with this. I won’t pull any punches and I’ll be
View attachment 37081

This is a much healthier environment than child beauty pageants. Strong family values are promoted, and adding the Brazzers logo is frowned upon.
View attachment 37082

The bond between father and son is celebrated.
View attachment 37083

I will admit there are some similarities. A lot of energy is devoted in both pageants and TBSing to discussing who is fat, but here it is done out of genuine concern. No one roots for injuries.

Pageants are a very homogenous social circle, and in contrast this is a melting pot. The variety of fake black men alone makes this one of the top ten most diverse football forums that also gets confused for a furry porn hosting site.

There are a lot of educated people here, all the way up to TCU MBAs. A wide variety of knowledge exists here. Ranging from experts on drug dealing, skin conditions related to drug use, Bitcoin, small East Coast liberal arts colleges, and internet cyber security. It has inspired me to develop an app with push notifications. It tells you when a wheelchair and stairs are near you.

The people here are Nebraska classy. They have a forum called the Kobestopper Cafe and the logo has not been changed to the outline of a Sikorsky. The significant percentage of mentally ill visitors are treated like equals. Everyone is super nice, even the visiting Duck fans like myself; always willing to help people find employment at our Chevrons.

Besides, if you wind up at the state pen it might not be that bad. I’m assuming it will be mostly Cuog fans from Spokane, so you can talk shit. There is even a chance that your cell mate will be the weaker one and you know what that means: top bunk.

View attachment 37084
Click to expand...

What in the actual fuck?!? How did I know not the dude's real name was Gaylane.

This explains much.

NTTAWWT

 
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