Husky Jacks open thread [2021]

It's getting old watching PGOS struggle with his made-up stats and ice cold takes
Click to expand...

What stats are made up?

If you think me being a realist about the program is an ice cold take - you might be a doog.

It's alright. You're not alone. Weird amount of dooging around here lately. Even from vets. You hate to see it
Click to expand...
PGOS continues to overuse "doog" and "dooging" into bolivian.

 
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It's getting old watching PGOS struggle with his made-up stats and ice cold takes
Click to expand...

What stats are made up?

If you think me being a realist about the program is an ice cold take - you might be a doog.

It's alright. You're not alone. Weird amount of dooging around here lately. Even from vets. You hate to see it
Click to expand...
PGOS continues to overuse "doog" and "dooging" into bolivian.
Click to expand...

Excuse me, doog police. Let me find my doog license for you.
 
http://twitter.com/RedditCFB/status/1397770671543898112?s=20
Click to expand...

Oregon's going to embarrass the hell out of the Pac12 and I'm going to enjoy every minute of it.
Click to expand...

That quote is half the sentence and has a very different, even sadder, meaning when it’s not cut as click bait:

The chance to go out and compete against what many believe will be a top three, top five team on the road, will give us a chance to show what Pac-12 football is like[/i].

Mullens is saying that this will give the country a rare chance to actually see the Pac-12 play a football-like game. He’s not wrong, the game will start at an awful time, will feature some shit play, and maybe enough PI penalties to where scientific notation will have to be used in the box score.

Let’s be honest: the Pac-12 doesn’t need Oregon to embarrass them. Embarrassment is the default.

The Corona spared Oregon from Justin Fields, much like it spared me from attending four weddings last summer. Now the piper must be paid, they’re all happening again and this time they’re at worse venues or on like a Friday at 4:00 PM. Just like those weddings the end result will be someone wearing white getting pounded.
Click to expand...

Happy hour wedding? Sign me the fuck up for that shit (as long as it’s an open bar).
Click to expand...

I’m at the DMV. I’ve been here for quite some time, two hours with an appointment.

I’m sorry if you choose to read any of the rambling below this paragraph, I’m basically bringing Liberace as my plus one into this thread. You’ve been warned, this will be strictly wedding analysis. I’m a wedding magnet. I think I’ve been to about 45 over the last six or seven years. A combination of me being at the right age range, willing to travel, having a gf that knows a ton of people, and being asked to be a plus one due to my low social inhibitions and ability to be presentable when sober. Luckily there were two genocides in the last century (not calling for genocide, just referring to) that have really culled my number of family members, keeping those obligatory weddings to attend number lower. Below are my takes on Friday weddings.

I (used to) love getting sloshed at an open bar after the end of a work week as much as the next guy. It appealed to all facets of me: the Slav gets drunk, the Jew does it for free, and the American leaves work early to eat. Other than me not drinking anymore, which destroys the Slav, here are the problems -

* 4:00 really means like 1:00. Which can be problematic for the employed.
All because some entrepreneurial sheep fucker decided to turn part of his farm into a wedding venue and that place is going to be an hour drive away - at best. I prefer to look dapper to at least salvage a photo op from a ruined Friday, so a shower and prepping a light linen suit adds time. Then the gf needs me to pretend to listen while she complains about dresses, people that will attend, and socializing. Gotta make sure to help her put on the jewelry I overpaid for over the years, because her company will trust her with million dollar shit but she can’t work the clasp on a necklace. I also made the mistake of showing her how good I am at straightening or doing hair, that was an error made back when I was still trying to impress her.

* It’s the hottest time of the day. The venue the couple picked out looked great for an outdoor wedding at 11AM on the 72 degree day they toured it on. At 5PM on a 92 degree day it’s miserable as fuck.

* Everyone else is also of the mindset that there’s free booze on a Friday and a green light to get wasted and chatty. At least on Saturday people still want to be sober enough to go do shit afterwards. Thankfully, due to a history of awful behavior, I rarely get invited to the weddings of people I used to be friends with. I don’t have to listen to their inaccurate reminiscing. Unfortunately, my gf is well liked by people so I have to listen to their reminiscing. Which is even worse because her friends were well adjusted and thus boring. It made them into boring adults.

“Oh you’re a stay at home mommy to generic trendy child name and this gangly, awkward looking fucker that creampies you is an engineer that I will have to make small talk with about subjects only one of us gives a fuck about? How wonderful, I’m so happy you decided to strike up a conversation. Please don’t tell me who here my gf sucked off when y’all were in high school and in exchange I’ll get you more whores dwarves, as you call them, when I get up. I assume this is a fair trade because you look fatter, and thus lazier, than in the grainy 1MP high school pics you insisted on showing me on Facebook after cycling through 1000 pics of your child that looks like every other child I’ve ever seen, maybe slightly uglier. Please stop touching my thigh whenever you obnoxiously laugh - not just because you have greasy charcuterie hands and these are tailored Burberry pants but also because I have a history of less than fidelious behavior and I don’t want to have to hear about that or what a bitch you are on the drive home. The bride and groom look lovely don’t they? No, no please stop. That wasn’t encouragement for you to talk about your wedding that I’m truly lucky happened before I knew any of you, that’s a transition to end this conversation.”[/i]

* Everything goes late on a weekday. There’s traffic, half the guests don’t show up on time so they hold off on the ceremony. The delay leads to more delays. The cello player has diarrhea, or the best man has diarrhea, or grandma wandered off, probably for diarrhea related reasons to change her depends, there’s some kind of shit issue like that.
 
http://twitter.com/RedditCFB/status/1397770671543898112?s=20
Click to expand...

Oregon's going to embarrass the hell out of the Pac12 and I'm going to enjoy every minute of it.
Click to expand...

That quote is half the sentence and has a very different, even sadder, meaning when it’s not cut as click bait:

The chance to go out and compete against what many believe will be a top three, top five team on the road, will give us a chance to show what Pac-12 football is like[/i].

Mullens is saying that this will give the country a rare chance to actually see the Pac-12 play a football-like game. He’s not wrong, the game will start at an awful time, will feature some shit play, and maybe enough PI penalties to where scientific notation will have to be used in the box score.

Let’s be honest: the Pac-12 doesn’t need Oregon to embarrass them. Embarrassment is the default.

The Corona spared Oregon from Justin Fields, much like it spared me from attending four weddings last summer. Now the piper must be paid, they’re all happening again and this time they’re at worse venues or on like a Friday at 4:00 PM. Just like those weddings the end result will be someone wearing white getting pounded.
Click to expand...

Happy hour wedding? Sign me the fuck up for that shit (as long as it’s an open bar).
Click to expand...

I’m at the DMV. I’ve been here for quite some time, two hours with an appointment.

I’m sorry if you choose to read any of the rambling below this paragraph, I’m basically bringing Liberace as my plus one into this thread. You’ve been warned, this will be strictly wedding analysis. I’m a wedding magnet. I think I’ve been to about 45 over the last six or seven years. A combination of me being at the right age range, willing to travel, having a gf that knows a ton of people, and being asked to be a plus one due to my low social inhibitions and ability to be presentable when sober. Luckily there were two genocides in the last century (not calling for genocide, just referring to) that have really culled my number of family members, keeping those obligatory weddings to attend number lower. Below are my takes on Friday weddings.

I (used to) love getting sloshed at an open bar after the end of a work week as much as the next guy. It appealed to all facets of me: the Slav gets drunk, the Jew does it for free, and the American leaves work early to eat. Other than me not drinking anymore, which destroys the Slav, here are the problems -

* 4:00 really means like 1:00. Which can be problematic for the employed.
All because some entrepreneurial sheep fucker decided to turn part of his farm into a wedding venue and that place is going to be an hour drive away - at best. I prefer to look dapper to at least salvage a photo op from a ruined Friday, so a shower and prepping a light linen suit adds time. Then the gf needs me to pretend to listen while she complains about dresses, people that will attend, and socializing. Gotta make sure to help her put on the jewelry I overpaid for over the years, because her company will trust her with million dollar shit but she can’t work the clasp on a necklace. I also made the mistake of showing her how good I am at straightening or doing hair, that was an error made back when I was still trying to impress her.

* It’s the hottest time of the day. The venue the couple picked out looked great for an outdoor wedding at 11AM on the 72 degree day they toured it on. At 5PM on a 92 degree day it’s miserable as fuck.

* Everyone else is also of the mindset that there’s free booze on a Friday and a green light to get wasted and chatty. At least on Saturday people still want to be sober enough to go do shit afterwards. Thankfully, due to a history of awful behavior, I rarely get invited to the weddings of people I used to be friends with. I don’t have to listen to their inaccurate reminiscing. Unfortunately, my gf is well liked by people so I have to listen to their reminiscing. Which is even worse because her friends were well adjusted and thus boring. It made them into boring adults.

“Oh you’re a stay at home mommy to generic trendy child name and this gangly, awkward looking fucker that creampies you is an engineer that I will have to make small talk with about subjects only one of us gives a fuck about? How wonderful, I’m so happy you decided to strike up a conversation. Please don’t tell me who here my gf sucked off when y’all were in high school and in exchange I’ll get you more whores dwarves, as you call them, when I get up. I assume this is a fair trade because you look fatter, and thus lazier, than in the grainy 1MP high school pics you insisted on showing me on Facebook after cycling through 1000 pics of your child that looks like every other child I’ve ever seen, maybe slightly uglier. Please stop touching my thigh whenever you obnoxiously laugh - not just because you have greasy charcuterie hands and these are tailored Burberry pants but also because I have a history of less than fidelious behavior and I don’t want to have to hear about that or what a bitch you are on the drive home. The bride and groom look lovely don’t they? No, no please stop. That wasn’t encouragement for you to talk about your wedding that I’m truly lucky happened before I knew any of you, that’s a transition to end this conversation.”[/i]

* Everything goes late on a weekday. There’s traffic, half the guests don’t show up on time so they hold off on the ceremony. The delay leads to more delays. The cello player has diarrhea, or the best man has diarrhea, or grandma wandered off, probably for diarrhea related reasons to change her depends, there’s some kind of shit issue like that.
Click to expand...

giphy.gif

 
http://twitter.com/RedditCFB/status/1397770671543898112?s=20
Click to expand...

Oregon's going to embarrass the hell out of the Pac12 and I'm going to enjoy every minute of it.
Click to expand...

That quote is half the sentence and has a very different, even sadder, meaning when it’s not cut as click bait:

The chance to go out and compete against what many believe will be a top three, top five team on the road, will give us a chance to show what Pac-12 football is like[/i].

Mullens is saying that this will give the country a rare chance to actually see the Pac-12 play a football-like game. He’s not wrong, the game will start at an awful time, will feature some shit play, and maybe enough PI penalties to where scientific notation will have to be used in the box score.

Let’s be honest: the Pac-12 doesn’t need Oregon to embarrass them. Embarrassment is the default.

The Corona spared Oregon from Justin Fields, much like it spared me from attending four weddings last summer. Now the piper must be paid, they’re all happening again and this time they’re at worse venues or on like a Friday at 4:00 PM. Just like those weddings the end result will be someone wearing white getting pounded.
Click to expand...

Happy hour wedding? Sign me the fuck up for that shit (as long as it’s an open bar).
Click to expand...

I’m at the DMV. I’ve been here for quite some time, two hours with an appointment.

I’m sorry if you choose to read any of the rambling below this paragraph, I’m basically bringing Liberace as my plus one into this thread. You’ve been warned, this will be strictly wedding analysis. I’m a wedding magnet. I think I’ve been to about 45 over the last six or seven years. A combination of me being at the right age range, willing to travel, having a gf that knows a ton of people, and being asked to be a plus one due to my low social inhibitions and ability to be presentable when sober. Luckily there were two genocides in the last century (not calling for genocide, just referring to) that have really culled my number of family members, keeping those obligatory weddings to attend number lower. Below are my takes on Friday weddings.

I (used to) love getting sloshed at an open bar after the end of a work week as much as the next guy. It appealed to all facets of me: the Slav gets drunk, the Jew does it for free, and the American leaves work early to eat. Other than me not drinking anymore, which destroys the Slav, here are the problems -

* 4:00 really means like 1:00. Which can be problematic for the employed.
All because some entrepreneurial sheep fucker decided to turn part of his farm into a wedding venue and that place is going to be an hour drive away - at best. I prefer to look dapper to at least salvage a photo op from a ruined Friday, so a shower and prepping a light linen suit adds time. Then the gf needs me to pretend to listen while she complains about dresses, people that will attend, and socializing. Gotta make sure to help her put on the jewelry I overpaid for over the years, because her company will trust her with million dollar shit but she can’t work the clasp on a necklace. I also made the mistake of showing her how good I am at straightening or doing hair, that was an error made back when I was still trying to impress her.

* It’s the hottest time of the day. The venue the couple picked out looked great for an outdoor wedding at 11AM on the 72 degree day they toured it on. At 5PM on a 92 degree day it’s miserable as fuck.

* Everyone else is also of the mindset that there’s free booze on a Friday and a green light to get wasted and chatty. At least on Saturday people still want to be sober enough to go do shit afterwards. Thankfully, due to a history of awful behavior, I rarely get invited to the weddings of people I used to be friends with. I don’t have to listen to their inaccurate reminiscing. Unfortunately, my gf is well liked by people so I have to listen to their reminiscing. Which is even worse because her friends were well adjusted and thus boring. It made them into boring adults.

“Oh you’re a stay at home mommy to generic trendy child name and this gangly, awkward looking fucker that creampies you is an engineer that I will have to make small talk with about subjects only one of us gives a fuck about? How wonderful, I’m so happy you decided to strike up a conversation. Please don’t tell me who here my gf sucked off when y’all were in high school and in exchange I’ll get you more whores dwarves, as you call them, when I get up. I assume this is a fair trade because you look fatter, and thus lazier, than in the grainy 1MP high school pics you insisted on showing me on Facebook after cycling through 1000 pics of your child that looks like every other child I’ve ever seen, maybe slightly uglier. Please stop touching my thigh whenever you obnoxiously laugh - not just because you have greasy charcuterie hands and these are tailored Burberry pants but also because I have a history of less than fidelious behavior and I don’t want to have to hear about that or what a bitch you are on the drive home. The bride and groom look lovely don’t they? No, no please stop. That wasn’t encouragement for you to talk about your wedding that I’m truly lucky happened before I knew any of you, that’s a transition to end this conversation.”[/i]

* Everything goes late on a weekday. There’s traffic, half the guests don’t show up on time so they hold off on the ceremony. The delay leads to more delays. The cello player has diarrhea, or the best man has diarrhea, or grandma wandered off, probably for diarrhea related reasons to change her depends, there’s some kind of shit issue like that.
Click to expand...

I got married (2nd go round) on a Friday night at 6:30pm. The venue was open at 6 as was the bar. Ceremony was complete by 6:45. Fuck all the bullshit associated with people being late. I have a low tolerance for people wasting my time so I respect their time equally.

Besides all that, I could afford the venue for an hour and we had to be out by 7 for a bar mitzvah.
 
Why would I waste my fucking time cutting clips? Ive got priorities

I said Smalls got tackles 5 yards down the field after losing contain. Turns out it was 4 yards down the field.

I don't think he got a single QB pressure in those 100+ snaps either
Click to expand...

I agree with you about cutting clips. By footage, you meant that the games are on YouTube.
 
Solid gold.

Now quit bitching about 1st world problems. Imagine having to move to the US to become an Uber driver only because the goat trading industry in your 3rd world piece of shit country went belly up.
 
Why would I waste my fucking time cutting clips? Ive got priorities
Click to expand...

Higher priorities than Hardcore Husky? Disagree

I said Smalls got tackles 5 yards down the field after losing contain. Turns out it was 4 yards down the field.

I don't think he got a single QB pressure in those 100+ snaps either
Click to expand...

He had 2 pressures in 69 snaps on passing downs.

You said you watched him and he did nothing and couldn't hold the edge. We'll, let's see what the film says.

From watching Utah, Smalls is able to get off blocks but not fast enough (Utah's 2nd TD). He is able to move OTs but ZTF is faster at getting to the QB and twice Smalls falls on the QB when he's already been sacked. He moved the Utah QB out of the pocket when he threw the pick to Molden. On 3rd and 5, he and Bronson plugged the middle and got pushed back by 3 Utah OL, but he got off the block inside and made an assisted tackle with Eddie to save a conversion (Utah failed to convert on 4th). He missed contain and could have had a TFL against Ty Jordan (RIP) but he broke out for a 40 yard gain.

I didn't watch the Stanford game but I know he crashed inside and lost contain, leading to a long run that pretty much sealed the game.

I think we all agree, he has a way to go, especially inside with run support, but he did quite a bit considering he didn't get spring camp, fall camp, and COVID-limited training in October. He's able to get off blockers and move well for an OLB but he's not overpowering OL or being active with his hands. Once he gets some weight, he'll be able to play like ZTF and drive back OT while disengaging. Once he gets more coaching, he'll be more violent with his hands and movements, too.
Click to expand...

He had a decent 2nd half against Utah. That’s about it. He didn’t do anything else and was really bad against Stanford.
 
Also, Auburn was fucking terrible

Doog
Click to expand...

The irony here is you calling Auburn fucking terrible when you've struggled mightily in this thread the last 3 pages

Then again, you struggle mightily in every thread
Click to expand...

Auburn sucked

Im always right

Smalls got 2 almost pressures. Crown his ass! He sucks until he doesnt

hth
Click to expand...

You went from "I'm just memeing" to "I've got higher priorities" to 6 posts defending your hot takes.

Take the L and head home.
Click to expand...

My hot takes are all accurate

If you bet on UW to perform poorly and lose bigtime games you will be a rich man

Hth

Smalls sucks until he doesnt. I could watch his film and cherry pick a bunch of plays where he was driven 5 yards backwards at the line to do the equivalent of your 5 plays where he did not suck

Hth
Click to expand...

The prosaic answer is: When watching Smalls film, in the whole, one doesn't notice much at all.
Click to expand...

Bully
Click to expand...

Kettle, have you met teapot
 
http://twitter.com/RedditCFB/status/1397770671543898112?s=20
Click to expand...

Oregon's going to embarrass the hell out of the Pac12 and I'm going to enjoy every minute of it.
Click to expand...

That quote is half the sentence and has a very different, even sadder, meaning when it’s not cut as click bait:

The chance to go out and compete against what many believe will be a top three, top five team on the road, will give us a chance to show what Pac-12 football is like[/i].

Mullens is saying that this will give the country a rare chance to actually see the Pac-12 play a football-like game. He’s not wrong, the game will start at an awful time, will feature some shit play, and maybe enough PI penalties to where scientific notation will have to be used in the box score.

Let’s be honest: the Pac-12 doesn’t need Oregon to embarrass them. Embarrassment is the default.

The Corona spared Oregon from Justin Fields, much like it spared me from attending four weddings last summer. Now the piper must be paid, they’re all happening again and this time they’re at worse venues or on like a Friday at 4:00 PM. Just like those weddings the end result will be someone wearing white getting pounded.
Click to expand...

Happy hour wedding? Sign me the fuck up for that shit (as long as it’s an open bar).
Click to expand...

I’m at the DMV. I’ve been here for quite some time, two hours with an appointment.

I’m sorry if you choose to read any of the rambling below this paragraph, I’m basically bringing Liberace as my plus one into this thread. You’ve been warned, this will be strictly wedding analysis. I’m a wedding magnet. I think I’ve been to about 45 over the last six or seven years. A combination of me being at the right age range, willing to travel, having a gf that knows a ton of people, and being asked to be a plus one due to my low social inhibitions and ability to be presentable when sober. Luckily there were two genocides in the last century (not calling for genocide, just referring to) that have really culled my number of family members, keeping those obligatory weddings to attend number lower. Below are my takes on Friday weddings.

I (used to) love getting sloshed at an open bar after the end of a work week as much as the next guy. It appealed to all facets of me: the Slav gets drunk, the Jew does it for free, and the American leaves work early to eat. Other than me not drinking anymore, which destroys the Slav, here are the problems -

* 4:00 really means like 1:00. Which can be problematic for the employed.
All because some entrepreneurial sheep fucker decided to turn part of his farm into a wedding venue and that place is going to be an hour drive away - at best. I prefer to look dapper to at least salvage a photo op from a ruined Friday, so a shower and prepping a light linen suit adds time. Then the gf needs me to pretend to listen while she complains about dresses, people that will attend, and socializing. Gotta make sure to help her put on the jewelry I overpaid for over the years, because her company will trust her with million dollar shit but she can’t work the clasp on a necklace. I also made the mistake of showing her how good I am at straightening or doing hair, that was an error made back when I was still trying to impress her.

* It’s the hottest time of the day. The venue the couple picked out looked great for an outdoor wedding at 11AM on the 72 degree day they toured it on. At 5PM on a 92 degree day it’s miserable as fuck.

* Everyone else is also of the mindset that there’s free booze on a Friday and a green light to get wasted and chatty. At least on Saturday people still want to be sober enough to go do shit afterwards. Thankfully, due to a history of awful behavior, I rarely get invited to the weddings of people I used to be friends with. I don’t have to listen to their inaccurate reminiscing. Unfortunately, my gf is well liked by people so I have to listen to their reminiscing. Which is even worse because her friends were well adjusted and thus boring. It made them into boring adults.

“Oh you’re a stay at home mommy to generic trendy child name and this gangly, awkward looking fucker that creampies you is an engineer that I will have to make small talk with about subjects only one of us gives a fuck about? How wonderful, I’m so happy you decided to strike up a conversation. Please don’t tell me who here my gf sucked off when y’all were in high school and in exchange I’ll get you more whores dwarves, as you call them, when I get up. I assume this is a fair trade because you look fatter, and thus lazier, than in the grainy 1MP high school pics you insisted on showing me on Facebook after cycling through 1000 pics of your child that looks like every other child I’ve ever seen, maybe slightly uglier. Please stop touching my thigh whenever you obnoxiously laugh - not just because you have greasy charcuterie hands and these are tailored Burberry pants but also because I have a history of less than fidelious behavior and I don’t want to have to hear about that or what a bitch you are on the drive home. The bride and groom look lovely don’t they? No, no please stop. That wasn’t encouragement for you to talk about your wedding that I’m truly lucky happened before I knew any of you, that’s a transition to end this conversation.”[/i]

* Everything goes late on a weekday. There’s traffic, half the guests don’t show up on time so they hold off on the ceremony. The delay leads to more delays. The cello player has diarrhea, or the best man has diarrhea, or grandma wandered off, probably for diarrhea related reasons to change her depends, there’s some kind of shit issue like that.
Click to expand...

giphy.gif
Click to expand...

nrewe4g2wemc.gif
 
Sirmon looks way leaner. If he can get quicker and finish his half assed tackles hed actually be a monster. So many lumbering, slow plays that were almost Tfls with that dumbass neck roll thing
 
Solid gold.

Now quit bitching about 1st world problems. Imagine having to move to the US to become an Uber driver only because the goat trading industry in your 3rd world piece of shit country went belly up.
Click to expand...

@PapaBrailsford For the record, blatant racism runs rampant in these parts. I for one was merely pointing out the misfortunes of @PurpleBaze and @"Yousef_#1UberDriver"

Also, on the record, bazey is a 5-star all day with great chat, complimentary handies, and an immaculate interior. Yousefs car just smells like shit and he tried to check my oil.
 
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