Announcement for the Bored (I hate myself so I am getting married)

Alright. Well, from one retard who's already hit that figurative eject button, here's my biggest tip:

Once that baby's out, keep CLS the fuck away from Facebook and social media in general. That shit is designed in a lab to turn new mothers into competitive, overemotional monsters. Freaking squirrels have babies (and more at a time than humans at that), and yet Facebook convinces every new mother that "the miracle of birth" endows them with mythical hero status. And your alien-looking wiggling skin pile of a baby is the cutest thing on the planet and DEFINITELY already a genius because it pointed at that one thing that one time when the books say that shouldn't happen for another two weeks, but fuck Alice and her shit ugly baby that's too stupid to roll over yet.
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Facebook is the reason the world is a miserable nightmare for everyone.
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So freaking true.

Story tim. Wifey and I just went on a vacation just the two of us. Left our kids with wifey's mom. My mom got jealous. Her mom posted some picks the first day of the kids having fun at her place. My mom defriended her.

We got back home, my wife starts looking at stuff we were tagged in, thinks it's real suspicious my mom hasn't commented on any of the pics of her grandkids, goes and looks and sure enough she's no longer FB frens with wifeys mom. Wifey messages my mom and says "I noticed you're not frens with my mom on FB anymore". My mom plays dumb. A few more messages are exchanged. Finally my mom admits the real reason:

"I didn't want to see pictures of them having fun everyday".

Women and access to other's women's lives is a nasty combination.
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Yep. We all have stories similar to this. It just engenders artificiality. Empty people seeking validation for negative reasons leading to a ton of ugliness. I wasn’t going to bring sex into it but yes, women are hostile as fuck to each other lol.

Facebook represents pretty much everything I loathe about people.
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I really love you right now. If things don't work out with CLS, well?
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Always.

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Sword. lulz
 
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The toaster I bought you and your bride is NOT for warming your hands you dummy
 
Fuck marriage sounds horrible.
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Pretty sure we had a fight six months ago and this was the exact quote:

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Really looking forward to the next 30 years together. She will probably shoot me.
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I thoroughly enjoy some lead therapy.

But this is why we don’t own any guns.
 
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The toaster I bought you and your bride is NOT for warming your hands you dummy
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You are really going to be unhappy when you learn that I thought it was a hair dryer for your ass. That toaster will never be the same. Could say the same thing for my ass as well.
 
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The toaster I bought you and your bride is NOT for warming your hands you dummy
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You are really going to be unhappy when you learn that I thought it was a hair dryer for your ass. That toaster will never be the same. Could say the same thing for my ass as well.
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Just be thankful he didn’t send you a waffle iron or a panini press.
 
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Hmmm. July 13th. Country club. Hmmm. Prince William county IIRC.

Bull Run
RTJ
Dominion Valley
Stonewall
Heritage Hunt

My money is on Bull Run. See you there!
 
Hmmm. July 13th. Country club. Hmmm. Prince William county IIRC.

Bull Run
RTJ
Dominion Valley
Stonewall
Heritage Hunt

My money is on Bull Run. See you there!
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It would be pretty good if I walked in with a duck at the moment they ask for objections. @Swaye has chosen to ignore the spirit warnings and is axing for it.
 
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