Using my cell phone to call a plumber, landscaper, carpenter, electrician who won't fuck things up.
The Throbber doesn't sound poor.
I am the ultimate poor, I guess.
Shop burned down, and I wanted a bigger and better replacement than I could afford, so I built it myself in my "spare time." Took five years, but I did nearly everything. Only subs I hired were tree removal (coolest fucking crew), foundation/slab (but he fucked up and I had to fix both), roof (but they fucked up, so I had to fix it), and mud/tape (but they fucked up, so I had to fix it). The things I did:
Pirated and learned Chief Architect and did all of the plans/permitting myself (saved $10K)
Excavation (major help from a buddy who's an ace excavator operator, but I can do as well)
Footing drain install
Slap prep/compacting, installed insulation and tubing for in-floor radiant heat
Trenching, conduit, and meter base installation for below-ground 320A (2x200) service (still haven't pulled wire from shop to house to replace the house's overhead service)
Below and above-slab plumbing
Diamond-grinding the whole foundation level
All framing/truss installation
Window/doors/siding/trim install
Wall and attic insulation
Drywall hanging
100% of the electrical, from breaker panel install to conduit bending/hanging, lights, 3-phase sub-panel, etc.
Diamond-ground and epoxy/polyurea the floor
Bathroom
Interior trim
Paint inside and out (ran one of those college painting franchises for three years way back when)
Forms, rebar, poured, and finished the 20' x 100' x 6" driveway (hired help for the pour and finishing)
With the exception of not having a kitchen, it's basically a house, and I was able to built it and totally hardscape my back acre for about $100K, including about $5K in tools that I get to keep, so well worth it.
Shortly after that, I was prodded by the Mrs. to replace the carpet in the master bedroom. Pulled the carpet up and found a horror show. Kept peeling the nightmare onion, and 18 months later had tore out and replaced the whole master suite floor structure and reframed it, tore two exterior walls out and reframed them, put the load-bearing bathroom wall that some dumbfuck in the '40s tore out back where it needs to be, built an entirely new bathroom (including making the concrete vanity top), rewired everything, and did all of the drywall work (was smart enough to not sub out the mud/tape/texture this time). Never buy a 100 year old house... On the bright side, the master bedroom is in an addition that was built in the 1940s. May of 1946, if I had to guess. That's the date on all of the newspaper we found between the two layers of floor, acting as a draft stop. I have some cool pictures of some of the scraps that didn't get destroyed in the demo.
I also tore out and replaced a ton of the house's plumbing while the family was out of town after Christmas a couple of years ago, installed the on-demand water heater, roofed a few houses back in the day, added a bathroom and bedroom downstairs, replaced the back porch. Odds and ends. I guess I'm poor enough to be very familiar with pretty much the entire list outside of rich-people-projects like irrigation and heater vent engineering.
Next summer, I get to start on tearing the house's exterior walls down to the studs, fixing the framing, replacing all of the windows, and residing. The other half of the driveway needs replaced, then it's finally done. Sort of.