The offseason boredom is killing me, can I get a little help?

I believe the reason this thread was moved from the Tug was to keep it humorous and apolitical.
 
I believe the reason this thread was moved from the Tug was to keep it humorous and apolitical.
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I'm trying to calm this place down and get us back to normal. You're making it harder to do so. I'm asking you to help me out.
 
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