So what’s the fucking deal with this White Claw craze?

[NoWarningJustDawg]

When I pour at fests this shit is what they ask for. It's basically Lecroix plus vodka; lazy bitches can't even make their own vodka soda anymore?

BRB, rebranding my dry cider as "Apple Hard Seltzer"

Actually now it occurs to me to mix up a keg of flavored soda water, and just let them think it's 5% instead of 0.5%. Beer fests need tipsy people but could do with a lower "White Girl Wasted" quotient.

I've poured Lecroix and vodka over ice and found it very unsatisfying. But I basically think vodka is worthless except in BMs.

Yeah there's no structure there. No fruit giving acidity or tannin, no sweetness except occasionally artificial, and low ABV making it seem thin. *Shrug*
I go to the ends of the Earth for the best bittersweet and bittersharp apples though, so my actual hope is that the hard seltzer "dry is ok" will open some minds to what cider can be instead of shitty cloyingly sweet Apple Alco-pop bought in 6-packs.

 

[PurpleThrobber]

When I pour at fests this shit is what they ask for. It's basically Lecroix plus vodka; lazy bitches can't even make their own vodka soda anymore?

BRB, rebranding my dry cider as "Apple Hard Seltzer"

Actually now it occurs to me to mix up a keg of flavored soda water, and just let them think it's 5% instead of 0.5%. Beer fests need tipsy people but could do with a lower "White Girl Wasted" quotient.

I've poured Lecroix and vodka over ice and found it very unsatisfying. But I basically think vodka is worthless except in BMs.

The Throbber drinks that shit every fucking night. Lecroix (plain/sparkling water, not that flavored shit) a splash of Key Lime juice and copious amounts of cheap ass vodka. Tall plastic tumbler.

Except the fucking nights when he goes ballz deep into Caesars which are scientifically proven far superior to Marys. And the occasional nights when the rye gets busted out and then it's on.

And edibles. Gots to have the edibles.

 

[GoDux]

When I pour at fests this shit is what they ask for. It's basically Lecroix plus vodka; lazy bitches can't even make their own vodka soda anymore?

BRB, rebranding my dry cider as "Apple Hard Seltzer"

Actually now it occurs to me to mix up a keg of flavored soda water, and just let them think it's 5% instead of 0.5%. Beer fests need tipsy people but could do with a lower "White Girl Wasted" quotient.

I've poured Lecroix and vodka over ice and found it very unsatisfying. But I basically think vodka is worthless except in BMs.

The Throbber drinks that shit every fucking night. Lecroix (plain/sparkling water, not that flavored shit) a splash of Key Lime juice and copious amounts of cheap ass vodka. Tall plastic tumbler.

Except the fucking nights when he goes ballz deep into Caesars which are scientifically proven far superior to Marys. And the occasional nights when the rye gets busted out and then it's on.

And edibles. Gots to have the edibles.

Your my idol.

 

[YellowSnow]

When I pour at fests this shit is what they ask for. It's basically Lecroix plus vodka; lazy bitches can't even make their own vodka soda anymore?

BRB, rebranding my dry cider as "Apple Hard Seltzer"

Actually now it occurs to me to mix up a keg of flavored soda water, and just let them think it's 5% instead of 0.5%. Beer fests need tipsy people but could do with a lower "White Girl Wasted" quotient.

I've poured Lecroix and vodka over ice and found it very unsatisfying. But I basically think vodka is worthless except in BMs.

The Throbber drinks that shit every fucking night. Lecroix (plain/sparkling water, not that flavored shit) a splash of Key Lime juice and copious amounts of cheap ass vodka. Tall plastic tumbler.

Except the fucking nights when he goes ballz deep into Caesars which are scientifically proven far superior to Marys. And the occasional nights when the rye gets busted out and then it's on.

And edibles. Gots to have the edibles.

Caesar’s are amazing. Same with Rye. I prefer to feel the stinky smoke in my lungs.

 

[IPukeOregonGrellow]

Homemade Zima or GTFO

 

[Ice_Holmvik]

When I pour at fests this shit is what they ask for. It's basically Lecroix plus vodka; lazy bitches can't even make their own vodka soda anymore?

BRB, rebranding my dry cider as "Apple Hard Seltzer"

Actually now it occurs to me to mix up a keg of flavored soda water, and just let them think it's 5% instead of 0.5%. Beer fests need tipsy people but could do with a lower "White Girl Wasted" quotient.

I've poured Lecroix and vodka over ice and found it very unsatisfying. But I basically think vodka is worthless except in BMs.

My gf does thst plus Newman Lemonade.

 

[YellowSnow]

What I will never understand about the Claw crowd is they already sell gin and tonic in a can. Why would one drink vodka when gin tastes infinitely better?

 

[PurpleThrobber]

What I will never understand about the Claw crowd is they already sell gin and tonic in a can. Why would one drink vodka when gin tastes infinitely better?

Some of us? don't like the taste of bile and pine needles.

 

[YellowSnow]

What I will never understand about the Claw crowd is they already sell gin and tonic in a can. Why would one drink vodka when gin tastes infinitely better?

Some of us? don't like the taste of bile and pine needles.

I feel bad for you Throbber. I wish you could enjoy the good life of delicious gin.

 

[PurpleThrobber]

What I will never understand about the Claw crowd is they already sell gin and tonic in a can. Why would one drink vodka when gin tastes infinitely better?

Some of us? don't like the taste of bile and pine needles.

I feel bad for you Throbber. I wish you could enjoy the good life of delicious gin.

Yeah...i'm cool with the vodka.

 

[YellowSnow]

What I will never understand about the Claw crowd is they already sell gin and tonic in a can. Why would one drink vodka when gin tastes infinitely better?

Some of us? don't like the taste of bile and pine needles.

I feel bad for you Throbber. I wish you could enjoy the good life of delicious gin.

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Yeah...i'm cool with the vodka.

You're missing out, bruh!

 

[GrundleStiltzkin]

Poont of clarification, White Claw is not based on vodka or another neutral spirit. It's a neutered malt beverage just like Zima, Mike's or any other shitty alcopop. Otherwise, it couldn't be carried in the groceries beer & wine section.

 

[PurpleThrobber]

Poont of clarification, White Claw is not based on vodka or another neutral spirit. It's a neutered malt beverage just like Zima, Mike's or any other shitty alcopop. Otherwise, it couldn't be carried in the groceries beer & wine section.

The more you know....

Still down with vodka.

 

[NoWarningJustDawg]

Poont of clarification, White Claw is not based on vodka or another neutral spirit. It's a neutered malt beverage just like Zima, Mike's or any other shitty alcopop. Otherwise, it couldn't be carried in the groceries beer & wine section.

Sure, that may be what it is made of, more for tax purposes than anything, but even the common name "spiked seltzer" shows what they are trying to mimic with this creation. Basically, you are what you taste like...No, eww. Ok, your beverage style is what it tastes like.

Also, Boston Beer's "Truly" brand, that has about 30% of market to White Claw's 60%, is just made from cane sugar.

(Nobody better fucking call me Malt Liquor Market Superiority Guy!)

 

[PurpleThrobber]

Poont of clarification, White Claw is not based on vodka or another neutral spirit. It's a neutered malt beverage just like Zima, Mike's or any other shitty alcopop. Otherwise, it couldn't be carried in the groceries beer & wine section.

Sure, that may be what it is made of, more for tax purposes than anything, but even the common name "spiked seltzer" shows what they are trying to mimic with this creation. Basically, you are what you taste like...No, eww. Ok, your beverage style is what it tastes like.

Also, Boston Beer's "Truly" brand, that has about 30% of market to White Claw's 60%, is just made from cane sugar.

(Nobody better fucking call me Malt Liquor Market Superiority Guy!)

Don't even make me go there.

#throbberroots

 

[Pitchfork51]

I'm having a claw at 7:51 am while waiting at the car wash.

 

[1to392831weretaken]

Gas station down/convenience store down the hill from me has a walk-in beer fridge because life is awesome. I'm walking out with a sixer of Coco Jones and a couple of tall boys of Arrogant Bastard last night as two bros are walking in. I overhear one to the other: "Are we really gonna get some Claw?"

HH in real life moment.

I make fun of my wife about 10 times per day for burning through cases of "fizzy water" like it's a magical youth serum. "You're one of the people marketers love: the kind who can be easily convinced to actually pay for water because it's in a colorful can and has a millionth of a cent worth of carbonation in it."

One day I open the fridge, and there's a six pack of some shit called "Truly" in it. I'm like, "What the fuck is this?"

"They actually make alcoholic fizzy water now. I had to try it."

To Mrs. 1to234245weretaken's credit, she found it disgusting and reverted to drinking big, hairy-chested man's drinks the second those things were gone. I was still disappointed, though.

I went from having no idea this shit even existed to not being able to walk down the street without hearing somebody mention it in like a week. Some young marketing school grad is driving a Ferrari somewhere...

 

[DoogCourics]

I tried it at a fucking celebration of life earlier this week because of BTP and BitchFork constantly droning on about it.

It was fucking awful. No point to it. But I also am someone who enjoys flavor. So I guess it's not for me to get. But if I was back in college and it was before I met the Mrs., I'd buy a shit load of it if that's what makes the ladies squeel.

It's just funny that this shit goes in cycles and each young kid of each generation think they're the first to fucking do it or try it. From eternal Grandpa Race to youthful and exuberant BTP, every generation of young horny male has bought cheap flavorless alcohol to make the panties drop.

 

[NoWarningJustDawg]

It's just funny that this shit goes in cycles and each young kid of each generation think they're the first to fucking do it or try it. [/b]From eternal Grandpa Race to youthful and exuberant BTP, every generation of young horny male has bought cheap flavorless alcohol to make the panties drop.

So much this. FFS all the times some young dumbass has wanted to teach me about IPA or craft beer in general, or thinks he has created some new cocktail that's (almost) as old as Race...

 

[whlinder]

I see it as a response to lazy millennials’ desire to have consumable products packaged in a way that doesn’t require them to do anything but open, consume and throw away.

Get out bowl, pour cereal, add milk, eat, wash bowl? Pfffft that’s too much effort, would rather open yogurt, eat and throw away cup. Yogurt sales up, cereal sales down.

Same shit with booze. Can’t be bothered to make their own drinks with mixers cause that’s a multi step process.