Question for lawyers

[Bob_C]

T

Why do you idiots always send an “invoice” that is actually a statement of total open work and then fuck up the application of payments when I make them?

I've been practicing law for 23 years and I have never written or read the words "open work" or "pro forma" on a legal invoice, nor heard of anyone doing the same, and I used to send them out for years and have been reviewing and approving them for even longer. The legal invoice is about as simple as it gets.

"I worked on this thing for you for 1.7 hours. I worked on this other thing for you for .5 hours." I mean, who else in the fuck does that tedious shit? We? should bill you like the plumber does: "You want [hot water in your bathroom?] [access to capital markets and compliance with the federal securities laws?] It's going to cost you $[a shit load of money]. Take it or leave it."

The very best of the best, like Cravath, Skadden Arps, Davis Polk, etc. don't even bother with the details, which is how it should be. "For Services Rendered ..................................... $964,000. See you next month."

And businesses gladly pay it, and not because they're stupid. But because some of us still operate in a market.

I’m naming names, Perkins Coie.

 

[RaceBannon]

T

Why do you idiots always send an “invoice” that is actually a statement of total open work and then fuck up the application of payments when I make them?

I've been practicing law for 23 years and I have never written or read the words "open work" or "pro forma" on a legal invoice, nor heard of anyone doing the same, and I used to send them out for years and have been reviewing and approving them for even longer. The legal invoice is about as simple as it gets.

"I worked on this thing for you for 1.7 hours. I worked on this other thing for you for .5 hours." I mean, who else in the fuck does that tedious shit? We? should bill you like the plumber does: "You want [hot water in your bathroom?] [access to capital markets and compliance with the federal securities laws?] It's going to cost you $[a shit load of money]. Take it or leave it."

The very best of the best, like Cravath, Skadden Arps, Davis Polk, etc. don't even bother with the details, which is how it should be. "For Services Rendered ..................................... $964,000. See you next month."

And businesses gladly pay it, and not because they're stupid. But because some of us still operate in a market.

I’m naming names, Perkins Coie.

The Clinton law firm

Makes sense

DAWG sense

 

[Sources]

T

Why do you idiots always send an “invoice” that is actually a statement of total open work and then fuck up the application of payments when I make them?

I've been practicing law for 23 years and I have never written or read the words "open work" or "pro forma" on a legal invoice, nor heard of anyone doing the same, and I used to send them out for years and have been reviewing and approving them for even longer. The legal invoice is about as simple as it gets.

"I worked on this thing for you for 1.7 hours. I worked on this other thing for you for .5 hours." I mean, who else in the fuck does that tedious shit? We? should bill you like the plumber does: "You want [hot water in your bathroom?] [access to capital markets and compliance with the federal securities laws?] It's going to cost you $[a shit load of money]. Take it or leave it."

The very best of the best, like Cravath, Skadden Arps, Davis Polk, etc. don't even bother with the details, which is how it should be. "For Services Rendered ..................................... $964,000. See you next month."

And businesses gladly pay it, and not because they're stupid. But because some of us still operate in a market.

I’m naming names, Perkins Coie.

Perkins is not in the same universe as NYC elite. It's been a Seattle pillar for some time, but those days may be over with national firms moving in now that Seattle is on the cusp of being a legitimate market.

 

[creepycoug]

T

Why do you idiots always send an “invoice” that is actually a statement of total open work and then fuck up the application of payments when I make them?

I've been practicing law for 23 years and I have never written or read the words "open work" or "pro forma" on a legal invoice, nor heard of anyone doing the same, and I used to send them out for years and have been reviewing and approving them for even longer. The legal invoice is about as simple as it gets.

"I worked on this thing for you for 1.7 hours. I worked on this other thing for you for .5 hours." I mean, who else in the fuck does that tedious shit? We? should bill you like the plumber does: "You want [hot water in your bathroom?] [access to capital markets and compliance with the federal securities laws?] It's going to cost you $[a shit load of money]. Take it or leave it."

The very best of the best, like Cravath, Skadden Arps, Davis Polk, etc. don't even bother with the details, which is how it should be. "For Services Rendered ..................................... $964,000. See you next month."

And businesses gladly pay it, and not because they're stupid. But because some of us still operate in a market.

I’m naming names, Perkins Coie.

Perkins is not in the same universe as NYC elite. It's been a Seattle pillar for some time, but those days may be over with national firms moving in now that Seattle is on the cusp of being a legitimate market.

I would say "not in the same universe" is a little strong, but agree that Perkins is not on that list I started. Perkins is to Cravath as the Pac 12 is to the SEC! @Fire_Marshall_Bill @RaceBannon

 

[TurdBomber]

My group relies solely on alternative fee arrangements. Much simpler and cleaner.

Pro formas and hourly billable is fuckery of the highest degree.[/b]

I'd be more expensive that way. But by all means, pay me like the bankers get paid. % of the deal. I'd kill for that and blame my conservative brothers of the bar for being too chicken shit to take the risk.

"Oh, oh, but we might do a lot of work and not get paid!!!"

Yeah, like that would happen.

At least on the business side, legal fees are some of the best value you'll get out of professional services. I fucking counsel on shit that has nothing to do with legal work all the time. That's free advice on shit that is outside of my concern.

But go ahead and do the work yourself. Please.

I wish I could get paid a percentage of all the money my clients didn't lose because of some dumbass agreement they would have entered into without me.

Instead, I just get my negotiated flat fee or my hourly.

$20 per hour sounds about right for your talents.

 

[TurdBomber]

T

Why do you idiots always send an “invoice” that is actually a statement of total open work and then fuck up the application of payments when I make them?

I've been practicing law for 23 years and I have never written or read the words "open work" or "pro forma" on a legal invoice, nor heard of anyone doing the same, and I used to send them out for years and have been reviewing and approving them for even longer. The legal invoice is about as simple as it gets.

"I worked on this thing for you for 1.7 hours. I worked on this other thing for you for .5 hours." I mean, who else in the fuck does that tedious shit? We? should bill you like the plumber does: "You want [hot water in your bathroom?] [access to capital markets and compliance with the federal securities laws?] It's going to cost you $[a shit load of money]. Take it or leave it."

The very best of the best, like Cravath, Skadden Arps, Davis Polk, etc. don't even bother with the details, which is how it should be. "For Services Rendered ..................................... $964,000. See you next month."

And businesses gladly pay it, and not because they're stupid. But because some of us still operate in a market.

I’m naming names, Perkins Coie.

Perkins is not in the same universe as NYC elite. It's been a Seattle pillar for some time, but those days may be over with national firms moving in now that Seattle is on the cusp of being a legitimate market.

Perkins deserves the diarrhea bath its reputation is taking of late. Elias, Sussman and the rest of the Dem Lying Whore Sellouts who fabricated the Steel Dossier and the entire Russian Collusion Hoax need to be jailed and disbarred. Too bad, but filling the ranks with feminists and DC lobbyists always leads to this shit: Get woke, Go broke.

Too bad. Used to be a respectable top-drawer firm. But not anymore.

 

[PurpleThrobber]

Crane, Poole & Schmidt handles all the Throbber’s legal work.

 

[Swaye]

I've always had good luck with the Gays.

 

[Fire_Marshall_Bill]

T

Why do you idiots always send an “invoice” that is actually a statement of total open work and then fuck up the application of payments when I make them?

I've been practicing law for 23 years and I have never written or read the words "open work" or "pro forma" on a legal invoice, nor heard of anyone doing the same, and I used to send them out for years and have been reviewing and approving them for even longer. The legal invoice is about as simple as it gets.

"I worked on this thing for you for 1.7 hours. I worked on this other thing for you for .5 hours." I mean, who else in the fuck does that tedious shit? We? should bill you like the plumber does: "You want [hot water in your bathroom?] [access to capital markets and compliance with the federal securities laws?] It's going to cost you $[a shit load of money]. Take it or leave it."

The very best of the best, like Cravath, Skadden Arps, Davis Polk, etc. don't even bother with the details, which is how it should be. "For Services Rendered ..................................... $964,000. See you next month."

And businesses gladly pay it, and not because they're stupid. But because some of us still operate in a market.

I’m naming names, Perkins Coie.

Perkins is not in the same universe as NYC elite. It's been a Seattle pillar for some time, but those days may be over with national firms moving in now that Seattle is on the cusp of being a legitimate market.

I would say "not in the same universe" is a little strong, but agree that Perkins is not on that list I started. Perkins is to Cravath as the Pac 12 is to the SEC! @Fire_Marshall_Bill @RaceBannon

I don't keep stats on law firms, but the SEC is the most overrated sports entity in major American sports over the past 50 years and it's not close

 

[Pitchfork51]

My group relies solely on alternative fee arrangements. Much simpler and cleaner.

Pro formas and hourly billable is fuckery of the highest degree.[/b]

I'd be more expensive that way. But by all means, pay me like the bankers get paid. % of the deal. I'd kill for that and blame my conservative brothers of the bar for being too chicken shit to take the risk.

"Oh, oh, but we might do a lot of work and not get paid!!!"

Yeah, like that would happen.

At least on the business side, legal fees are some of the best value you'll get out of professional services. I fucking counsel on shit that has nothing to do with legal work all the time. That's free advice on shit that is outside of my concern.

But go ahead and do the work yourself. Please.

When your pretending to be a lawyer?

Lolz. I've been pretending for a long time. I'm trying to remember the guy at the other site who started that. I was like, "hey, if I'm going to make up a story about myself, I can do better than Seattle lawyer for Christ's sake." His username had some reference to being the boss or something ... like topdawg or some shit like that. That dood did not like me. Hey, get in line motherfucker.

I don't know if you or others recall, but we were all over on that other site after being booted or abandoning doogman, and once day I find myself talking to two or three people and finally one of you, dnc, race or grumble come back over to the now-abandoned site and were like, "get your ass over to hardcorehusky. everybody left." creep ... always the last to know. been on these boards with some of you for over 20 years now and I still miss a lot of the inside baseball.

You're a pretend lawyer like I'm a beavlet

I think it was obk that claimed I was a beav lol

 

[trublue]

My group relies solely on alternative fee arrangements. Much simpler and cleaner.

Pro formas and hourly billable is fuckery of the highest degree.[/b]

I'd be more expensive that way. But by all means, pay me like the bankers get paid. % of the deal. I'd kill for that and blame my conservative brothers of the bar for being too chicken shit to take the risk.

"Oh, oh, but we might do a lot of work and not get paid!!!"

Yeah, like that would happen.

At least on the business side, legal fees are some of the best value you'll get out of professional services. I fucking counsel on shit that has nothing to do with legal work all the time. That's free advice on shit that is outside of my concern.

But go ahead and do the work yourself. Please.

I wish I could get paid a percentage of all the money my clients didn't lose because of some dumbass agreement they would have entered into without me.

Instead, I just get my negotiated flat fee or my hourly.

$20 per hour sounds about right for your talents.

Who does HH bill for all the hours he spends on HCH?

 

[HHusky]

My group relies solely on alternative fee arrangements. Much simpler and cleaner.

Pro formas and hourly billable is fuckery of the highest degree.[/b]

I'd be more expensive that way. But by all means, pay me like the bankers get paid. % of the deal. I'd kill for that and blame my conservative brothers of the bar for being too chicken shit to take the risk.

"Oh, oh, but we might do a lot of work and not get paid!!!"

Yeah, like that would happen.

At least on the business side, legal fees are some of the best value you'll get out of professional services. I fucking counsel on shit that has nothing to do with legal work all the time. That's free advice on shit that is outside of my concern.

But go ahead and do the work yourself. Please.

I wish I could get paid a percentage of all the money my clients didn't lose because of some dumbass agreement they would have entered into without me.

Instead, I just get my negotiated flat fee or my hourly.

$20 per hour sounds about right for your talents.

Who does HH bill for all the hours he spends on HCH?

Why would I need to bill anyone, Detective?

 

[Sources]

My group relies solely on alternative fee arrangements. Much simpler and cleaner.

Pro formas and hourly billable is fuckery of the highest degree.[/b]

I'd be more expensive that way. But by all means, pay me like the bankers get paid. % of the deal. I'd kill for that and blame my conservative brothers of the bar for being too chicken shit to take the risk.

"Oh, oh, but we might do a lot of work and not get paid!!!"

Yeah, like that would happen.

At least on the business side, legal fees are some of the best value you'll get out of professional services. I fucking counsel on shit that has nothing to do with legal work all the time. That's free advice on shit that is outside of my concern.

But go ahead and do the work yourself. Please.

I wish I could get paid a percentage of all the money my clients didn't lose because of some dumbass agreement they would have entered into without me.

Instead, I just get my negotiated flat fee or my hourly.

$20 per hour sounds about right for your talents.

Who does HH bill for all the hours he spends on HCH?

Why would I need to bill anyone, Detective?

For someone who seems to dislike Trump, you sure argue like him. Especially in your reductive namecalling. "Detective", "Boris" etc., is no different than "Crooked Hillary", Lyin' Ted', etc.

Irony abound

 

[46XiJCAB]

T

Why do you idiots always send an “invoice” that is actually a statement of total open work and then fuck up the application of payments when I make them?

I've been practicing law for 23 years and I have never written or read the words "open work" or "pro forma" on a legal invoice, nor heard of anyone doing the same, and I used to send them out for years and have been reviewing and approving them for even longer. The legal invoice is about as simple as it gets.

"I worked on this thing for you for 1.7 hours. I worked on this other thing for you for .5 hours." I mean, who else in the fuck does that tedious shit? We? should bill you like the plumber does: "You want [hot water in your bathroom?] [access to capital markets and compliance with the federal securities laws?] It's going to cost you $[a shit load of money]. Take it or leave it."

The very best of the best, like Cravath, Skadden Arps, Davis Polk, etc. don't even bother with the details, which is how it should be. "For Services Rendered ..................................... $964,000. See you next month."

And businesses gladly pay it, and not because they're stupid. But because some of us still operate in a market.

I’m naming names, Perkins Coie.

Perkins is not in the same universe as NYC elite. It's been a Seattle pillar for some time, but those days may be over with national firms moving in now that Seattle is on the cusp of being a legitimate market.

Perkins deserves the diarrhea bath its reputation is taking of late. Elias, Sussman and the rest of the Dem Lying Whore Sellouts who fabricated the Steel Dossier and the entire Russian Collusion Hoax need to be jailed and disbarred. Too bad, but filling the ranks with feminists and DC lobbyists always leads to this shit: Get woke, Go broke.

Too bad. Used to be a respectable top-drawer firm. But not anymore.

I dealt with PC years ago. Their attorney was good, I’ll admit that. Skillful with the questions.

 

[TurdBomber]

My group relies solely on alternative fee arrangements. Much simpler and cleaner.

Pro formas and hourly billable is fuckery of the highest degree.[/b]

I'd be more expensive that way. But by all means, pay me like the bankers get paid. % of the deal. I'd kill for that and blame my conservative brothers of the bar for being too chicken shit to take the risk.

"Oh, oh, but we might do a lot of work and not get paid!!!"

Yeah, like that would happen.

At least on the business side, legal fees are some of the best value you'll get out of professional services. I fucking counsel on shit that has nothing to do with legal work all the time. That's free advice on shit that is outside of my concern.

But go ahead and do the work yourself. Please.

I wish I could get paid a percentage of all the money my clients didn't lose because of some dumbass agreement they would have entered into without me.

Instead, I just get my negotiated flat fee or my hourly.

$20 per hour sounds about right for your talents.

Who does HH bill for all the hours he spends on HCH?

His parents or wife obviously pay the bills.