Doog_de_Jour
New Fish
What happened with you and the girl?
Pole Tim: You're highest level of football played
- Thread starter GrundleStiltzkin
- Start date
What happened with you and the girl?
Alright, I’ll play. Two amazingly shitty stories.
Hoe’s Hill I played in 9th grade. Had never played so they had me suit up for the JV game. Had two picks in that game and returned one for 6. On O I just blocked all game because we didn’t throw the ball once. Game tied, 7-7 and I ask the coach to throw it to me. Have no clue what route I ran but caught this dead duck out of the sky and ran it for a TD. We win, definitely peeked at football that day.
Fast forward, senior yr, hadn’t played football since 9th grade but ended up as the starting DB going into camp at EWU. Scrimmaging some hillbilly school and they do a TE screen to this dude twice my size. I did my best Ronnie Lott impression and turned my self into a heat seeking missile. Well, I flipped and got an awesome concussion.
Decided it was a good idea to organize boxing matches while there as well. Concussion #2 in two days.
Decided I wanted a pizza so while the pizza guy ran pizzas to another dorm, I stole a box and devoured it with an under classman who just smoked a J all by himself. There was a 10 pizza bounty on my head and other guy didn’t snitch.
Then decided to go off campus and hook up a QP for us and a few other players from other schools. Also buying cigs for all the underagers as I was 18 senior yr.
Then hooked up with a cheer leader. Who fucking holds a cheerleading camp at the same place and time as a football camp.
Lost my starting spot from concussion #1 and saw mop-up time the rest of the year. Eventually quit cause the coach didn’t like me coming to weight training class high as fuck and then stealing money from the lockers. Fucking Trump.
At least camp was cool... kinda.
CSB, thanks.
Hoe’s Hill I played in 9th grade. Had never played so they had me suit up for the JV game. Had two picks in that game and returned one for 6. On O I just blocked all game because we didn’t throw the ball once. Game tied, 7-7 and I ask the coach to throw it to me. Have no clue what route I ran but caught this dead duck out of the sky and ran it for a TD. We win, definitely peeked at football that day.
Fast forward, senior yr, hadn’t played football since 9th grade but ended up as the starting DB going into camp at EWU. Scrimmaging some hillbilly school and they do a TE screen to this dude twice my size. I did my best Ronnie Lott impression and turned my self into a heat seeking missile. Well, I flipped and got an awesome concussion.
Decided it was a good idea to organize boxing matches while there as well. Concussion #2 in two days.
Decided I wanted a pizza so while the pizza guy ran pizzas to another dorm, I stole a box and devoured it with an under classman who just smoked a J all by himself. There was a 10 pizza bounty on my head and other guy didn’t snitch.
Then decided to go off campus and hook up a QP for us and a few other players from other schools. Also buying cigs for all the underagers as I was 18 senior yr.
Then hooked up with a cheer leader. Who fucking holds a cheerleading camp at the same place and time as a football camp.
Lost my starting spot from concussion #1 and saw mop-up time the rest of the year. Eventually quit cause the coach didn’t like me coming to weight training class high as fuck and then stealing money from the lockers. Fucking Trump.
At least camp was cool... kinda.
CSB, thanks.
Last edited:
DoogCourics
New Fish
As a child, I had other aspirations for what my future would be. My parents told me that I could achieve the impossible if I had three things: belief, persistence, and an insatiable appetite.
Needless to say, after years of dedication and hard work, I made my dreams come true and became a legend amongst men.
I’d like to think that is worth more than any football player in history could say for themselves.
Needless to say, after years of dedication and hard work, I made my dreams come true and became a legend amongst men.
I’d like to think that is worth more than any football player in history could say for themselves.
Pitchfork51
Active poster
After not getting a scholarship to #mybeavs I gave up the dream and just went there with full tuition.
But nothing will dampen my pride and love of oregon state football
But nothing will dampen my pride and love of oregon state football
Never played a lick of football. But our? DWAGS look at my name up on the wall as they eat their pre game meal. WOOF! SNARL!
What high school?
As I mentioned, my football skills didn't mature until after high school and I was limited to flag football and grab ass but I was on the team in high school. While we didn't have an official scout team MVP, I think I pretty was it all 3 years (#myLancers had a freshman team and I did start my freshman year).
One JV game, my coach grabs me and puts me in at DB. I'm wearing lineman gloves but he thought I was good enough to play DB. Either that or he was tired of seeing me get knocked on my ass as a DE.
I quickly realized you don't get as beat up playing DB so I started putting myself as a safety on the scout team. Buddy of mine was the starting H-back, slot guy, wing whatever it's called in a wing-T offense. Offense runs a sweep to the right and I'm his blocking assignment. I didn't keep my head on a swivel and Ronnie got me with a blindside block that knocked my helmet sideways (I CAN'T SEE!!!!) and broke my facemark.
My high school didn't have a football team
Row Peter Puffer!
Joe Jarzynka?
GrundleStiltzkin
New Fish
Oh my
My dad went to UW, and played intramural football. He was quarterback of the "Chinese Bandits", throwing passes to Dave Torrell. True story.
No athletic program at all. But we did have a weight room, so I'd go in there and lift weights with the other delinquents who had been thrown out of regular high schools
Last edited:
So I went to a really big tim football school in Texas (played for the State 5A Championship last year and were always at least solid going back decades). I think pictures always speak a thousand words, so I'll just show a random picture of the team and you can draw your own conclusions as to what the coaches thought when a skinny 115 pound dipshit half breed showed up for tryouts. Getting shitcanned not only probably saved my life, but also allowed me to find my true love, competitive weed smoking. State Champion 1986-1989 and this is undisputed.
Last edited: