PM to the Bored, need Vegas advice

ScroteDawg

New Fish
I'm going to Vegas for 5 days in a couple weeks, and I figured that a bunch of degenerates like you all would be able to give me some tips on where the coldest beer in town is, what casinos have a ribs and rickshaw special, etc. I know about the hookers, and blow and what not. If you only have 3 inches, is it only the first 2 that is consensual? Axing for a fren.
 
Where are you staying?

New York New York

I hope you realize that staying in New York is super far from Las Vegas.

Why don't you just stay in Henderson next time?

Here is what you need to know about Vegas:

1. If you're not worth at least $350,000 don't get on the plane.

2. Stay away from the Doolittle area unless you are going to John Mull's for ribs. They have a wall and gate, you're safe.

3. If you don't fit into #1 and you're not especially attractive hang out on Fremont as much as possible. This is where the "free" ass hangs out.

4. The guys on the show "Pawn Stars" are never at their pawn shop, so don't go there. Don't even waste your time at pawn shops there. They aren't the great deals they were 10 years ago.

5. 9 out of 10 women on backpage there are fakes. Stick with reviewed women from sites like Theeroticreview.com which will be out of range if you're not #1.

6. Most of the good food in town is absolutely not on the strip or in a casino. There is a reason why their food is cheap, it's because it's not very good.

7. Gentrification has cleaned up most of the areas off of the strip that used to just be riddled with bums. They are mostly in Doolittle now.

8. Those beaners you see running around with coolers selling beer are an illegal business. That's why they pick up and move every three minutes.

9. The Station Casinos are the only places worth gambling. I'd explain why but it's lengthy and I don't want to. Do the research, you'll see what I mean.

10. Every big time show there is just hot dudes with tight pants on, so stick to Fremont. Yes, that larger than life light show above your head is in fact Bon Jovi. White trash love Bon Jovi which is what is mainly at Fremont because of #1.

Now, go have a mediocre experience and go to the Costa Brava region of Spain next time instead.

 
Where are you staying?

New York New York

I hope you realize that staying in New York is super far from Las Vegas.

Why don't you just stay in Henderson next time?

Here is what you need to know about Vegas:

1. If you're not worth at least $350,000 don't get on the plane.

2. Stay away from the Doolittle area unless you are going to John Mull's for ribs. They have a wall and gate, you're safe.

3. If you don't fit into #1 and you're not especially attractive hang out on Fremont as much as possible. This is where the "free" ass hangs out.

4. The guys on the show "Pawn Stars" are never at their pawn shop, so don't go there. Don't even waste your time at pawn shops there. They aren't the great deals they were 10 years ago.

5. 9 out of 10 women on backpage there are fakes. Stick with reviewed women from sites like Theeroticreview.com which will be out of range if you're not #1.

6. Most of the good food in town is absolutely not on the strip or in a casino. There is a reason why their food is cheap, it's because it's not very good.

7. Gentrification has cleaned up most of the areas off of the strip that used to just be riddled with bums. They are mostly in Doolittle now.

8. Those beaners you see running around with coolers selling beer are an illegal business. That's why they pick up and move every three minutes.

9. The Station Casinos are the only places worth gambling. I'd explain why but it's lengthy and I don't want to. Do the research, you'll see what I mean.

10. Every big time show there is just hot dudes with tight pants on, so stick to Fremont. Yes, that larger than life light show above your head is in fact Bon Jovi. White trash love Bon Jovi which is what is mainly at Fremont because of #1.

Now, go have a mediocre experience and go to the Costa Brava region of Spain next time instead.

He's staying at NY NY and you're telling him to go downtown? Just stay on the strip unless you want your underwear, socks, and probably your fucking teeth to smell like smoke.

Personally my fav area is the middle of the strip with Paris, Bellagio, Caesars, and Cosmo. Between those 4 you've got great restaurants and tables. My fav is probably Cosmo for a one-stop shop.
 
Where are you staying?

New York New York

I hope you realize that staying in New York is super far from Las Vegas.

Why don't you just stay in Henderson next time?

Here is what you need to know about Vegas:

1. If you're not worth at least $350,000 don't get on the plane.

2. Stay away from the Doolittle area unless you are going to John Mull's for ribs. They have a wall and gate, you're safe.

3. If you don't fit into #1 and you're not especially attractive hang out on Fremont as much as possible. This is where the "free" ass hangs out.

4. The guys on the show "Pawn Stars" are never at their pawn shop, so don't go there. Don't even waste your time at pawn shops there. They aren't the great deals they were 10 years ago.

5. 9 out of 10 women on backpage there are fakes. Stick with reviewed women from sites like Theeroticreview.com which will be out of range if you're not #1.

6. Most of the good food in town is absolutely not on the strip or in a casino. There is a reason why their food is cheap, it's because it's not very good.

7. Gentrification has cleaned up most of the areas off of the strip that used to just be riddled with bums. They are mostly in Doolittle now.

8. Those beaners you see running around with coolers selling beer are an illegal business. That's why they pick up and move every three minutes.

9. The Station Casinos are the only places worth gambling. I'd explain why but it's lengthy and I don't want to. Do the research, you'll see what I mean.

10. Every big time show there is just hot dudes with tight pants on, so stick to Fremont. Yes, that larger than life light show above your head is in fact Bon Jovi. White trash love Bon Jovi which is what is mainly at Fremont because of #1.

Now, go have a mediocre experience and go to the Costa Brava region of Spain next time instead.

Brought to you by @thechatch
the_more_you_know_by_stathisnhx-d33639v.png
 
Where are you staying?

New York New York

I hope you realize that staying in New York is super far from Las Vegas.

Why don't you just stay in Henderson next time?

Here is what you need to know about Vegas:

1. If you're not worth at least $350,000 don't get on the plane.

2. Stay away from the Doolittle area unless you are going to John Mull's for ribs. They have a wall and gate, you're safe.

3. If you don't fit into #1 and you're not especially attractive hang out on Fremont as much as possible. This is where the "free" ass hangs out.

4. The guys on the show "Pawn Stars" are never at their pawn shop, so don't go there. Don't even waste your time at pawn shops there. They aren't the great deals they were 10 years ago.

5. 9 out of 10 women on backpage there are fakes. Stick with reviewed women from sites like Theeroticreview.com which will be out of range if you're not #1.

6. Most of the good food in town is absolutely not on the strip or in a casino. There is a reason why their food is cheap, it's because it's not very good.

7. Gentrification has cleaned up most of the areas off of the strip that used to just be riddled with bums. They are mostly in Doolittle now.

8. Those beaners you see running around with coolers selling beer are an illegal business. That's why they pick up and move every three minutes.

9. The Station Casinos are the only places worth gambling. I'd explain why but it's lengthy and I don't want to. Do the research, you'll see what I mean.

10. Every big time show there is just hot dudes with tight pants on, so stick to Fremont. Yes, that larger than life light show above your head is in fact Bon Jovi. White trash love Bon Jovi which is what is mainly at Fremont because of #1.

Now, go have a mediocre experience and go to the Costa Brava region of Spain next time instead.

Brought to you by @thechatch
the_more_you_know_by_stathisnhx-d33639v.png

But why is @Mosster47 a stupid cunt.
 
I love the guys who pretend to have Vegas so dialed in that they avoid the strip.

Tips are fine, but you can do anything and have a great time in Vegas. What you choose to do depends on your budget.
 
5 days is way too long for Vegas. Rookie move right there. 2-3 days tops is the way to always do that town... for a lot of reasons.
 
I had the norovirus back in 2002 and literally shit the bed at the Excalibur. Not my finest moment, but somehow felt like it was almost expected at Excalibur.
 
5 days is way too long for Vegas. Rookie move right there. 2-3 days tops is the way to always do that town... for a lot of reasons.

He didn't say but that 5 days is probably for a trade show. Nobody goes to Vegas that long for fun.
 
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