OFFICIAL Seahawks-49ers Pre-Game Thread

Support the Seahawks and help to make this man RiChEr!!!

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I like to pretend Paul Allen is the only NFL owner who is rich. It's what I like to do.

 
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http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2013-san-francisco-49ers-1207253769

"This is the franchise that pretends to be classy, and yet the Niners fanbase consists mostly of your standard Bay Area hooligans, who rock goatees and stab people in the parking lot. Many Niners fans are simply Raiders fans working undercover. They're just as violent and miserable, and they deserve to have their entire franchise shuttled out 50 miles south to Santa Clara, where they can't hurt law-abiding San Franciscans. The rest of the fanbase consists of transplants who go to the Niners game just so they can network with someone they found on LinkedIn. OMG THIS STADIUM HAS NO BIKE RACK! (designs app that gets recommended in Wired but is used by no one)

Niners fans are unique in that they are both spoiled AND disloyal. This team has won FIVE Super Bowls, and even that wasn't enough to keep people hanging around during the Singletary years. Hell, they could barely tolerate Jeff Garcia taking them to the playoffs. No no, this team has to average 13 wins a season to get natives to actually look up."
 
ku-xlarge.jpg

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2013-san-francisco-49ers-1207253769

"This is the franchise that pretends to be classy, and yet the Niners fanbase consists mostly of your standard Bay Area hooligans, who rock goatees and rape grandmonthers in wheelchairs in the parking lot. Many Niners fans are simply Raiders fans working undercover. They're just as violent and miserable, and they deserve to have their entire franchise shuttled out 50 miles south to Santa Clara, where they can't hurt law-abiding San Franciscans. The rest of the fanbase consists of transplants who go to the Niners game just so they can network with someone they found on LinkedIn. OMG THIS STADIUM HAS NO BIKE RACK! (designs app that gets recommended in Wired but is used by no one)

Niners fans are unique in that they are both spoiled AND disloyal. This team has won FIVE Super Bowls, and even that wasn't enough to keep people hanging around during the Singletary years. Hell, they could barely tolerate Jeff Garcia taking them to the playoffs. No no, this team has to average 13 wins a season to get natives to actually look up."
Click to expand...

 
ku-xlarge.jpg

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2013-san-francisco-49ers-1207253769

"This is the franchise that pretends to be classy, and yet the Niners fanbase consists mostly of your standard Bay Area hooligans, who rock goatees and rape grandmonthers in wheelchairs in the parking lot. Many Niners fans are simply Raiders fans working undercover. They're just as violent and miserable, and they deserve to have their entire franchise shuttled out 50 miles south to Santa Clara, where they can't hurt law-abiding San Franciscans. The rest of the fanbase consists of transplants who go to the Niners game just so they can network with someone they found on LinkedIn. OMG THIS STADIUM HAS NO BIKE RACK! (designs app that gets recommended in Wired but is used by no one)

Niners fans are unique in that they are both spoiled AND disloyal. This team has won FIVE Super Bowls, and even that wasn't enough to keep people hanging around during the Singletary years. Hell, they could barely tolerate Jeff Garcia taking them to the playoffs. No no, this team has to average 13 wins a season to get natives to actually look up."
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Hey, you leave puppy steel out of this.
 
This game has the potential to be a gigantic classic. It can wipe out the memory of the refs screwing us at the Super Bowl. After we win, the Seahawks WILL NEED the week off just to recover emotionally.

 
Last edited:
ku-xlarge.jpg

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2013-san-francisco-49ers-1207253769

"This is the franchise that pretends to be classy, and yet the Niners fanbase consists mostly of your standard Bay Area hooligans, who rock goatees and stab people in the parking lot. Many Niners fans are simply Raiders fans working undercover. They're just as violent and miserable, and they deserve to have their entire franchise shuttled out 50 miles south to Santa Clara, where they can't hurt law-abiding San Franciscans. The rest of the fanbase consists of transplants who go to the Niners game just so they can network with someone they found on LinkedIn. OMG THIS STADIUM HAS NO BIKE RACK! (designs app that gets recommended in Wired but is used by no one)

Niners fans are unique in that they are both spoiled AND disloyal. This team has won FIVE Super Bowls, and even that wasn't enough to keep people hanging around during the Singletary years. Hell, they could barely tolerate Jeff Garcia taking them to the playoffs. No no, this team has to average 13 wins a season to get natives to actually look up."
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Truly awful fanbase, which makes that troll thread even more hilarious
 
scarves up 12s!
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I know you are being sarcastic, but Sounders fans are the ones who say, "Scarves up!" Seahawk fans buy #12 jerseys and chip in their welfare checks to pay off Marshawn Lynch's fines. Don't those morons know it is Paul Allen's team?

 
Predictions:

There will be an annoying on screen meter measuring Seahawks crowd noise.

There will be a skirmish and Joe Buck will say, "We've got some pushing and shoving going on out there," or ,"A little extracurricular activity going on out there." These are the only two ways an announcer EVER describes a post play fight. And it's always followed up by the dumbfuck color guy going ,"Yeah you know these teams really don't like each other." Christ.

Some asshole will catch the salmon at the Pike Place Market.

There will be a shot of the ferry likely accompanied by Smells Like Teen Spirit playing as they go to commercial. HEY GUYS DID YOU KNOW NIRVANA IS FROM SEATTLE!?

Troy Aikman will talk about Russell Wilson's "Intangibles". Fuck you. He'll probably talk about how Kaepernick has all the athletic tools, just needs to spend a little more time in the film room.

Neither team has a white guy receiver, so my candidates for BLUE COLLAR GRIT white man's hero are Zach Miller, Vance Macdonald, or Justin Smith. My money is on Justin Smith. Aikman will say something like, "WHOOOO BOY Joe look at how Justin Smith moved the pocket so Aldon Smith could get to Russell Wilson. So UNSELFISH and HARD WORKING!"

We'll be bombarded by shots of the fucking Seahulk, Big Lo, and those weird fuckers who die their hair blue and wear beaks.

Jim Harbaugh will suffer an aneurysm.

Seahawks win 27-13

The TAKES WILL BE SEARING HOT after the game. Expect the "Kaepernick can't win in Seattle," take to be especially hot. Gregg Easterbrook will write how the humble unselfish Russell Wilson triumphed over the GLORY BOY Colin Kaepernick. Skip Bayless will argue that Kaepernick is not an ELITE quarterback.

I hate the sports media.
 
Predictions:

There will be an annoying on screen meter measuring Seahawks crowd noise.

There will be a skirmish and Joe Buck will say, "We've got some pushing and shoving going on out there," or ,"A little extracurricular activity going on out there." These are the only two ways an announcer EVER describes a post play fight. And it's always followed up by the dumbfuck color guy going ,"Yeah you know these teams really don't like each other." Christ.

Some asshole will catch the salmon at the Pike Place Market.

There will be a shot of the ferry likely accompanied by Smells Like Teen Spirit playing as they go to commercial. HEY GUYS DID YOU KNOW NIRVANA IS FROM SEATTLE!?

Troy Aikman will talk about Russell Wilson's "Intangibles". Fuck you. He'll probably talk about how Kaepernick has all the athletic tools, just needs to spend a little more time in the film room.

Neither team has a white guy receiver, so my candidates for BLUE COLLAR GRIT white man's hero are Zach Miller, Vance Macdonald, or Justin Smith. My money is on Justin Smith. Aikman will say something like, "WHOOOO BOY Joe look at how Justin Smith moved the pocket so Aldon Smith could get to Russell Wilson. So UNSELFISH and HARD WORKING!"

We'll be bombarded by shots of the fucking Seahulk, Big Lo, and those weird fuckers who die their hair blue and wear beaks.

Jim Harbaugh will suffer an aneurysm.

Seahawks win 27-13

The TAKES WILL BE SEARING HOT after the game. Expect the "Kaepernick can't win in Seattle," take to be especially hot. Gregg Easterbrook will write how the humble unselfish Russell Wilson triumphed over the GLORY BOY Colin Kaepernick. Skip Bayless will argue that Kaepernick is not an ELITE quarterback.

I hate the sports media.
Click to expand...

This is the kind of post that shows your potential that you've been busy burying under an avalanche of bad posts
 
Predictions:

There will be an annoying on screen meter measuring Seahawks crowd noise.

There will be a skirmish and Joe Buck will say, "We've got some pushing and shoving going on out there," or ,"A little extracurricular activity going on out there." These are the only two ways an announcer EVER describes a post play fight. And it's always followed up by the dumbfuck color guy going ,"Yeah you know these teams really don't like each other." Christ.

Some asshole will catch the salmon at the Pike Place Market.

There will be a shot of the ferry likely accompanied by Smells Like Teen Spirit playing as they go to commercial. HEY GUYS DID YOU KNOW NIRVANA IS FROM SEATTLE!?

Troy Aikman will talk about Russell Wilson's "Intangibles". Fuck you. He'll probably talk about how Kaepernick has all the athletic tools, just needs to spend a little more time in the film room.

Neither team has a white guy receiver, so my candidates for BLUE COLLAR GRIT white man's hero are Zach Miller, Vance Macdonald, or Justin Smith. My money is on Justin Smith. Aikman will say something like, "WHOOOO BOY Joe look at how Justin Smith moved the pocket so Aldon Smith could get to Russell Wilson. So UNSELFISH and HARD WORKING!"

We'll be bombarded by shots of the fucking Seahulk, Big Lo, and those weird fuckers who die their hair blue and wear beaks.

Jim Harbaugh will suffer an aneurysm.

Seahawks win 27-13

The TAKES WILL BE SEARING HOT after the game. Expect the "Kaepernick can't win in Seattle," take to be especially hot. Gregg Easterbrook will write how the humble unselfish Russell Wilson triumphed over the GLORY BOY Colin Kaepernick. Skip Bayless will argue that Kaepernick is not an ELITE quarterback.

I hate the sports media.
Click to expand...

This is the kind of post that shows your potential that you've been busy burying under an avalanche of bad posts
Click to expand...

I've always had all the tools.
 
Predictions:

There will be an annoying on screen meter measuring Seahawks crowd noise.

There will be a skirmish and Joe Buck will say, "We've got some pushing and shoving going on out there," or ,"A little extracurricular activity going on out there." These are the only two ways an announcer EVER describes a post play fight. And it's always followed up by the dumbfuck color guy going ,"Yeah you know these teams really don't like each other." Christ.

Some asshole will catch the salmon at the Pike Place Market.

There will be a shot of the ferry likely accompanied by Smells Like Teen Spirit playing as they go to commercial. HEY GUYS DID YOU KNOW NIRVANA IS FROM SEATTLE!?

Troy Aikman will talk about Russell Wilson's "Intangibles". Fuck you. He'll probably talk about how Kaepernick has all the athletic tools, just needs to spend a little more time in the film room.

Neither team has a white guy receiver, so my candidates for BLUE COLLAR GRIT white man's hero are Zach Miller, Vance Macdonald, or Justin Smith. My money is on Justin Smith. Aikman will say something like, "WHOOOO BOY Joe look at how Justin Smith moved the pocket so Aldon Smith could get to Russell Wilson. So UNSELFISH and HARD WORKING!"

We'll be bombarded by shots of the fucking Seahulk, Big Lo, and those weird fuckers who die their hair blue and wear beaks.

Jim Harbaugh will suffer an aneurysm.

Seahawks win 27-13

The TAKES WILL BE SEARING HOT after the game. Expect the "Kaepernick can't win in Seattle," take to be especially hot. Gregg Easterbrook will write how the humble unselfish Russell Wilson triumphed over the GLORY BOY Colin Kaepernick. Skip Bayless will argue that Kaepernick is not an ELITE quarterback.

I hate the sports media.
Click to expand...

This is the kind of post that shows your potential that you've been busy burying under an avalanche of bad posts
Click to expand...

I've always had all the tools.
Click to expand...

Maybe a little more time in the film room like the white posters who lack the natural ability have to do
 
Predictions:

There will be an annoying on screen meter measuring Seahawks crowd noise.

There will be a skirmish and Joe Buck will say, "We've got some pushing and shoving going on out there," or ,"A little extracurricular activity going on out there." These are the only two ways an announcer EVER describes a post play fight. And it's always followed up by the dumbfuck color guy going ,"Yeah you know these teams really don't like each other." Christ.

Some asshole will catch the salmon at the Pike Place Market.

There will be a shot of the ferry likely accompanied by Smells Like Teen Spirit playing as they go to commercial. HEY GUYS DID YOU KNOW NIRVANA IS FROM SEATTLE!?

Troy Aikman will talk about Russell Wilson's "Intangibles". Fuck you. He'll probably talk about how Kaepernick has all the athletic tools, just needs to spend a little more time in the film room.

Neither team has a white guy receiver, so my candidates for BLUE COLLAR GRIT white man's hero are Zach Miller, Vance Macdonald, or Justin Smith. My money is on Justin Smith. Aikman will say something like, "WHOOOO BOY Joe look at how Justin Smith moved the pocket so Aldon Smith could get to Russell Wilson. So UNSELFISH and HARD WORKING!"

We'll be bombarded by shots of the fucking Seahulk, Big Lo, and those weird fuckers who die their hair blue and wear beaks.

Jim Harbaugh will suffer an aneurysm.

Seahawks win 27-13

The TAKES WILL BE SEARING HOT after the game. Expect the "Kaepernick can't win in Seattle," take to be especially hot. Gregg Easterbrook will write how the humble unselfish Russell Wilson triumphed over the GLORY BOY Colin Kaepernick. Skip Bayless will argue that Kaepernick is not an ELITE quarterback.

I hate the sports media.
Click to expand...

This is the kind of post that shows your potential that you've been busy burying under an avalanche of bad posts
Click to expand...

I've always had all the tools.
Click to expand...

Maybe a little more time in the film room like the white posters who lack the natural ability have to do
Click to expand...

I've just got to keep "grinding".
 
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