OFFICIAL Oregon vs. Indiana Game Thread

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Ok, just tried adding a gif I've poasted before but it was too large, according this new "platform".

It was of my junk.

No, but seriously
 
Okay, Dawg Pack, gather ‘round because this is either the greatest story of fandom or the dumbest road trip since Lewis & Clark forgot the GPS.

Left Seattle yesterday in my trusty Subaru Outback (because UW law says you can’t own anything else) with a cooler full of Rainiers, Dick’s Deluxes and enough beef jerky to survive a zombie apocalypse. Mission: cheer on Indiana, watch Oregon get humiliated, and bask in the glory of the Rose Bowl.

Fast forward 18 hours of caffeine and existential dread later… I roll into Pasadena, windows down, blasting Jimi Hendrix because Seattle pride never dies. I’m expecting a sea of crimson Hoosiers and a neon-green nightmare of Ducks. Instead? I see… nothing. No IU flags. No Duck fans. Just a bunch of confused retirees in khakis and a farmer’s market selling artisanal honey. I ask a guy where the tailgate is, and he says, “Tailgate for what?” BRO. FOR THE ROSE BOWL.

He looks at me like I just asked where the nearest volcano is.

Then it hits me: I’m at the Rose Bowl Flea Market. There’s a guy selling vintage Beanie Babies where I thought the IU marching band would be. I bought a purple platypus out of spite.

And the parking saga? Oh, buckle up. I paid $75 cash to a guy who said he was “official Rose Bowl parking.” Turns out his “lot” was a guy’s backyard with three goats and a broken trampoline. He gave me a handwritten receipt on a napkin that said “Parking + good vibes.” I think the goats are eating my bumper as we speak.

So now I’m wandering around Pasadena in a Husky hoodie, screaming “GO HOOSIERS!” at people buying antique lamps. Oregon fans? Haven’t seen a single one. Indiana fans? Nada. I’m starting to think the game is in Texas or something. If anyone knows where the actual Rose Bowl is, please DM me before I end up buying a mid-century credenza instead of watching football.

Anyway, if you see a guy double-fisting bratwursts and yelling about Pac-12 betrayal while petting a goat named Gary, that’s me. Honk if you hate the Ducks.

Woof woof and Hoosier Daddy!
 
I swear that every time the team I'm rooting for makes a big hit on the opening KO, they go on to lose badly.
 
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