My Weekly Contribution to the Board

Don't buy Chinese products next time.
Click to expand...

I bought American service from an American company. 5 dipshit Americans couldn't do anything but run me on a hamster wheel. The Indian guy saved the day.

Think on it for a bit.
Click to expand...

Apple is more of a Chinese company than an American company. They love the Chicoms and they make their cheap trash over there. The 1k Apple phone is worth less than $200 USD. Cheap Chinese junk sold at a premium to the dumb American consumer.
Click to expand...

Uh, my Hispanic friends understood this the first time I explained it; what's you problem?

Apple is an American company. The problem was with the security system. A service. The phone works just fine and always has. It was the people on the phone, who were English speaking Americans - the people you want to shield from competition - who couldn't think their way out of a wet paper bag.

I don't have any more time to explain this to you: I'm off to go breed more Hispanics to populate your fine clean country.
Click to expand...

Apple is an American company in name only. In reality its a Chicom company. It makes the lion's share of its merchandise in China. And it's no friend to freedom, liberty and the American way. Screw Apple and screw you.
Click to expand...

I'm sorry you're upset that we needed the oversees call center team to provide good service. We gave the people you valued more than a fair shot. The foreigner was the winner; your team lost. Fair is fair. Protectionism is the Justin Herbert of economic policies. Loser.

Now go fuck off because I need to get to the pharmacy for a pregnancy test. The breeding program continues.

#jugdishisbetterthanchad
 
Honestly none of apples shittiness is surprising. Jobs died, accountants took over, realized that their fanatic customer base wouldnt give a shit if they get fucked over, and began inserting the plunger.

Only problem is that it's a company solely propped up on the iphone, and oops... people stopped buying high end phones every year and will continue to do so less and less.
The moment kim kardashian or whoever tells teenage girls that iphones arent cool anymore its over.

Fucking microsoft jammed a full linux kernel in the new windows version just to punk apple and take developers away. What has apple done lately besides make a shitty keyboard?

Come to think of it google sucks too. G Suite is a piece of shit and gmail hasnt advanced in years.

J?
 
Last edited:
Actually it was marketing guys that took over. They soldered the memory into their laptops so you can’t upgrade them now and have a limited shelf life. They let you use your face and fingerprints to sign in do they can appease @NSA_Dawg (who is a regular visitor to the tech companies).

So uhhhh.....animated emojis? Fuck. Steve Jobs is rolling in his alleged graves sipping martinis in Mexico.
 
And I thought macos was supposed to be so great?

It's an absolute piece of shit in an office setting. Helping these morons from a company we just bought get programs working, hooking up to the printer, etc is a disaster.
If someone besides one of my owners asked for a macbook I'd light them on fire.

The only people who should be using apple products are teenage girls and old people who are invested in the ecosystem and too tech retarded to learn anything new.

Maybe @Ballz
 
Last edited:
Actually it was marketing guys that took over. They soldered the memory into their laptops so you can’t upgrade them now and have a limited shelf life. They let you use your face and fingerprints to sign in do they can appease @NSA_Dawg (who is a regular visitor to the tech companies).

So uhhhh.....animated emojis? Fuck. Steve Jobs is rolling in his alleged graves sipping martinis in Mexico.
Click to expand...

I remember buying my Hispanic kid her laptop before venturing off to college where she's taking up a spot OBK's niece wanted but didn't get.

The American white kid explains the soldering poont to me and I'm like, " I don't know shit about tech but that seems like a bad idea."

He's trying to sell me a $3400 laptop so he doubles down like a Tug poster. Tells me it's always been that way. Fortunately one of my other Hispanic kids is with me, whose laptop I'd purchased a mere three years earlier for her sojourn to an elite eastern college that rejected OBK's nephew for probably the same spot. She poonted out to the American Patriot that her laptop's memory chip is not soldered and in fact she had it with her because our next order of business was to have them upgrade the memory. It's moments like this that inspire me to breed like a Mormon.

#inyourfacewhiteboy

#arriba-arriba-arriba
 

Actually it was marketing guys that took over. They soldered the memory into their laptops so you can’t upgrade them now and have a limited shelf life. They let you use your face and fingerprints to sign in do they can appease @NSA_Dawg (who is a regular visitor to the tech companies).

So uhhhh.....animated emojis? Fuck. Steve Jobs is rolling in his alleged graves sipping martinis in Mexico.
Click to expand...

I remember buying my Hispanic kid her laptop before venturing off to college where she's taking up a spot OBK's niece wanted but didn't get.

The American white kid explains the soldering poont to me and I'm like, " I don't know shit about tech but that seems like a bad idea."

He's trying to sell me a $3400 laptop so he doubles down like a Tug poster. Tells me it's always been that way. Fortunately one of my other Hispanic kids is with me, whose laptop I'd purchased a mere three years earlier for her sojourn to an elite eastern college that rejected OBK's nephew for probably the same spot. She poonted out to the American Patriot that her laptop's memory chip is not soldered and in fact she had it with her because our next order of business was to have them upgrade the memory. It's moments like this that inspire me to breed like a Mormon.

#inyourfacewhiteboy

#arriba-arriba-arriba
Click to expand...

Dont forget its an extra 300 bucks for more ram!!!
 
Actually it was marketing guys that took over. They soldered the memory into their laptops so you can’t upgrade them now and have a limited shelf life. They let you use your face and fingerprints to sign in do they can appease @NSA_Dawg (who is a regular visitor to the tech companies).

So uhhhh.....animated emojis? Fuck. Steve Jobs is rolling in his alleged graves sipping martinis in Mexico.
Click to expand...

I remember buying my Hispanic kid her laptop before venturing off to college where she's taking up a spot OBK's niece wanted but didn't get.

The American white kid explains the soldering poont to me and I'm like, " I don't know shit about tech but that seems like a bad idea."

He's trying to sell me a $3400 laptop so he doubles down like a Tug poster. Tells me it's always been that way. Fortunately one of my other Hispanic kids is with me, whose laptop I'd purchased a mere three years earlier for her sojourn to an elite eastern college that rejected OBK's nephew for probably the same spot. She poonted out to the American Patriot that her laptop's memory chip is not soldered and in fact she had it with her because our next order of business was to have them upgrade the memory. It's moments like this that inspire me to breed like a Mormon.[/b]

#inyourfacewhiteboy

#arriba-arriba-arriba
Click to expand...

pretty sure mexicans fuck more than mormons
 
Actually it was marketing guys that took over. They soldered the memory into their laptops so you can’t upgrade them now and have a limited shelf life. They let you use your face and fingerprints to sign in do they can appease @NSA_Dawg (who is a regular visitor to the tech companies).

So uhhhh.....animated emojis? Fuck. Steve Jobs is rolling in his alleged graves sipping martinis in Mexico.
Click to expand...

I remember buying my Hispanic kid her laptop before venturing off to college where she's taking up a spot OBK's niece wanted but didn't get.

The American white kid explains the soldering poont to me and I'm like, " I don't know shit about tech but that seems like a bad idea."

He's trying to sell me a $3400 laptop so he doubles down like a Tug poster. Tells me it's always been that way. Fortunately one of my other Hispanic kids is with me, whose laptop I'd purchased a mere three years earlier for her sojourn to an elite eastern college that rejected OBK's nephew for probably the same spot. She poonted out to the American Patriot that her laptop's memory chip is not soldered and in fact she had it with her because our next order of business was to have them upgrade the memory. It's moments like this that inspire me to breed like a Mormon.[/b]

#inyourfacewhiteboy

#arriba-arriba-arriba
Click to expand...

pretty sure mexicans fuck more than mormons
Click to expand...

What is u smokin
 
I would have said “bless your heart” then walked away.
Click to expand...

I don't that have skill J. You know this.
Click to expand...

My sister likes to take pics of my baby nephew with bandanas around his neck so I shopped a mustache on him and wrote BANDITO on the top. I’m part of ur culture now!
 
So today one of the support guys calls me at 9:00 am, because I fucking gave up last night to avoid completely losing my shit.

The guy calls, and despite a case number, we start in on the same five fucking moves I've done 50 other fucking times with 50 other fucking Apple jockeys. So I says to him, I says, "Hey man, not your fault (hi @BennyBeaver ) , but I'm still waking up and am just not in the mood for this. I've been on that ferris wheel a few too many times and just can't do it right now. Let's schedule another call for me."

He's calm and says, "Sure, no problem, but before I let you go, ...." Tequilla story made short, the guy asks if my wife's iPHone is on the account, etc. Oh, fuck me!! Turns out, that's a trusted device. We use one of the five moves I've done 50 mother fucking times, only this time we use her phone, and BOOM! Facts! @Ballz! It fucking works. Countless hours (seriously ... hours) and this fucker gets me out of Apple jail in less than 2 minutes.

Just like in real life: it's all about running into the right guy. Pretty much nothing else matters.
Click to expand...

The sad part? That dude gets paid what every other worthless motherfucker you dealt with that couldn't help you gets paid.

I hope you sucked his dick over the phone.
 
So today one of the support guys calls me at 9:00 am, because I fucking gave up last night to avoid completely losing my shit.

The guy calls, and despite a case number, we start in on the same five fucking moves I've done 50 other fucking times with 50 other fucking Apple jockeys. So I says to him, I says, "Hey man, not your fault (hi @BennyBeaver ) , but I'm still waking up and am just not in the mood for this. I've been on that ferris wheel a few too many times and just can't do it right now. Let's schedule another call for me."

He's calm and says, "Sure, no problem, but before I let you go, ...." Tequilla story made short, the guy asks if my wife's iPHone is on the account, etc. Oh, fuck me!! Turns out, that's a trusted device. We use one of the five moves I've done 50 mother fucking times, only this time we use her phone, and BOOM! Facts! @Ballz! It fucking works. Countless hours (seriously ... hours) and this fucker gets me out of Apple jail in less than 2 minutes.

Just like in real life: it's all about running into the right guy. Pretty much nothing else matters.
Click to expand...

The sad part? That dude gets paid what every other worthless motherfucker you dealt with that couldn't help you gets paid.

I hope you sucked his dick over the phone.
Click to expand...

Pretty much. I said "where you been handsome? OBK might not value your contributions to American commerce, but I sure as fuck do."
 
I thought Apple was an Irish company.

Anyway, I guess that some haven’t heard of contact manufacturing.
Click to expand...

I think they're a double Irish with a Dutch sandwich company, actually.

Actually it was marketing guys that took over. They soldered the memory into their laptops so you can’t upgrade them now and have a limited shelf life. They let you use your face and fingerprints to sign in do they can appease @NSA_Dawg (who is a regular visitor to the tech companies).

So uhhhh.....animated emojis? Fuck. Steve Jobs is rolling in his alleged graves sipping martinis in Mexico.
Click to expand...

I remember buying my Hispanic kid her laptop before venturing off to college where she's taking up a spot OBK's niece wanted but didn't get.

The American white kid explains the soldering poont to me and I'm like, " I don't know shit about tech but that seems like a bad idea."

He's trying to sell me a $3400 laptop so he doubles down like a Tug poster. Tells me it's always been that way. Fortunately one of my other Hispanic kids is with me, whose laptop I'd purchased a mere three years earlier for her sojourn to an elite eastern college that rejected OBK's nephew for probably the same spot. She poonted out to the American Patriot that her laptop's memory chip is not soldered and in fact she had it with her because our next order of business was to have them upgrade the memory. It's moments like this that inspire me to breed like a Mormon.

#inyourfacewhiteboy

#arriba-arriba-arriba
Click to expand...

Dont forget its an extra 300 bucks for more ram!!!
Click to expand...

I have one rule when buying electronic trinkets: Don't let myself get fucked over. I don't care if Phone XYZ is the "best phone"; if I can't quadruple the memory with a $15 microSD card, fuck that phone. Laptop with soldered memory? Fuck that. Non-upgradable hard drive/SSD? Fuck that. Non-unlockable bootloader? Fuck that. Have to pay a monthly fee to OnStar just to change the default charging amperage to the car at home? Fuuuuuuck you, GM.

And I thought macos was supposed to be so great?

It's an absolute piece of shit in an office setting. Helping these morons from a company we just bought get programs working, hooking up to the printer, etc is a disaster.
If someone besides one of my owners asked for a macbook I'd light them on fire.

The only people who should be using apple products are teenage girls and old people who are invested in the ecosystem and too tech retarded to learn anything new.

Maybe @Ballz
Click to expand...

I work in an industrial setting. We used to have these circa-1998 devices that look like a graphing calculator that we bring out onto the process unit and enter readings onto daily. They're finally reaching end of life and will no longer be supported, so the company has to switch over to a tablet-based system. What do they go with? iPads. Of course the rollout has been a total fucking nightmare. "So the smart move for the company is to buy the most expensive tablet possible (many of which will be destroyed per year) that has a different OS than everything else in the plant and then very expensively port all of the Windows-based software over to them?"

Also, obligatory this:
 
You mean Messican - Pollocks, Creep. Archie Bunker would think your kids are meatheads.
Click to expand...

i2msjvmuasv7.png

If you're going to bash Pollocks.....

 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top