Get up early at 11AM. Look outside and see nothing but sun. Check stupid fucking weatherbug app and see a 30 percent chance of showers 10 hours away. Go outside, look at lawn. Realize what I call lawn is actually just 40 different types of weeds cohabitating on the land white devils haven't yet stolen from me. Mix up 40 dollars worth of spectricide I had to work double shifts at Jiffy Lube for a week to afford. Spill half the mixture on driveway trying to not spill my beer as I cart the shit to sprayer. Lose another half of it trying to get sprayer to work with the shitty 25 year old dry rot hose and because 4 beers before noon. Spend two hours clumsily spraying shit all over the weeds, my house, neighbors, the sky and myself because 4 more beers. Get all hoses sprayers and empty beer cans put away by 3PM. Torrential downpour at 3:01PM.
FML
FML
