Maybe I'm Being a Hipsterfag

*revenge of the nerd alert*

This season was likely going to be slow regardless of how close they stuck to the books. Books 4 and 5 have plenty of tedious parts.

On some aspects I'm glad they sped up the plot line (we don't need 23 episodes of Daenerys doing nothing in Mereen).

Similarly, they had the right idea to abandon the Jaime-wandering-aimlessly-in-the-Riverlands story, but didn't execute it well. The "Jaime and Bronn Visit Dorne" show plays out like a cheesy buddy cop movie, and the sand snakes are corny, leaving us with a total shit sandwich. The only redeeming factor is that we got to see some tits. BRB, JO

I'm liking the Bolton/Sansa part, and Arya's story is playing out nicely. Cersei's story is pretty true to the books and is working well.

I'm guessing that the last two episodes of the season will be awesome, and we will forget about how the rest of the season has been meh.

And whoever said we need more Khaleesi doggystyle poundins, I agree that it would fix everything.
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Disagree.

Doing this ruined Jaime's arc AND the Dorne arc. Cutting out the Riverlands story also cuts out Lady Stoneheart, the siege at Riverrun, the Brotherhood w/o Banners, and the Blackfish.

OK, they decide not to do that, fine. He goes to Dorne instead, fine.

But then why bother hiring an awesome actor to play Doran Martell if he's only gonna get 3 minutes of screen time all season? The Sand Snakes have been awful (except for the titties last ep). And the entire Dornish plot has gone nowhere. After the amazing job Oberyn did last season of introducing his house/Dorne, they've done a shit job of following it up.

If they decided to take their time introducing new characters and places (like in the books) and gave us the same development and backstory as the original cast, fine. But instead, they've given us almost nothing about any of them. The reason people complained about the 4th book was that is was such a slow down in action after the first 3. But that's because GRRM actually explained everything about the new people/places the story was expanding to. You can't be slow paced and shallow on substance.

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Hyping up Barristan as the best warrior in the entire world and then letting him die to a bunch of faggots with daggers was FS. HBO's made up storylines are pretty bad, that one was especially horrible though.
 
Hyping up Barristan as the best warrior in the entire world and then letting him die to a bunch of faggots with daggers was FS. HBO's made up storylines are pretty bad, that one was especially horrible though.
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Especially cuz he's not dead in the books.

They also made the Unsullied look like a bunch of retards in that episode. One of them getting shanked at a brothel while his guard is down? Makes sense. Surrounding a group of well armed well trained soldiers with nothing but masks and daggers and kicking their ass? Uhhhh...dafuq?
 
*revenge of the nerd alert*

This season was likely going to be slow regardless of how close they stuck to the books. Books 4 and 5 have plenty of tedious parts.

On some aspects I'm glad they sped up the plot line (we don't need 23 episodes of Daenerys doing nothing in Mereen).

Similarly, they had the right idea to abandon the Jaime-wandering-aimlessly-in-the-Riverlands story, but didn't execute it well. The "Jaime and Bronn Visit Dorne" show plays out like a cheesy buddy cop movie, and the sand snakes are corny, leaving us with a total shit sandwich. The only redeeming factor is that we got to see some tits. BRB, JO

I'm liking the Bolton/Sansa part, and Arya's story is playing out nicely. Cersei's story is pretty true to the books and is working well.

I'm guessing that the last two episodes of the season will be awesome, and we will forget about how the rest of the season has been meh.

And whoever said we need more Khaleesi doggystyle poundins, I agree that it would fix everything.
Click to expand...

Disagree.

Doing this ruined Jaime's arc AND the Dorne arc. Cutting out the Riverlands story also cuts out Lady Stoneheart, the siege at Riverrun, the Brotherhood w/o Banners, and the Blackfish.

OK, they decide not to do that, fine. He goes to Dorne instead, fine.

But then why bother hiring an awesome actor to play Doran Martell if he's only gonna get 3 minutes of screen time all season? The Sand Snakes have been awful (except for the titties last ep). And the entire Dornish plot has gone nowhere. After the amazing job Oberyn did last season of introducing his house/Dorne, they've done a shit job of following it up.

If they decided to take their time introducing new characters and places (like in the books) and gave us the same development and backstory as the original cast, fine. But instead, they've given us almost nothing about any of them. The reason people complained about the 4th book was that is was such a slow down in action after the first 3. But that's because GRRM actually explained everything about the new people/places the story was expanding to. You can't be slow paced and shallow on substance.

sand-snake-strip-tease.gif
Click to expand...

I liked the Riverlands story arc in the book (both Jaime and Brienne). For example, Meribald's monologue about the broken men was one of my favorite parts of the entire series. And I agree that the siege at riverrun, Lady Stonehart/Brotherhood were great.

However, I think many of these elements would have made for bad TV. Fans would have been disappointed (Jaime negotiating for Riverrun without a battle would have made TV fans upset). I imagine it would be like the Stannis/Renly/Catelyn meeting, only without the shadow assassination.

I agree that Doran should get more screen time. I also think they should do more with Areo Hotah. So yes, the Dornish plot has gone nowhere. This is part of the poor execution of this aspect.
 
Part of the problem might be that the showrunners are having trouble with Jaime's character. Book Jaime loses his hand and becomes useless as a fighter. He's forced to rely on his wits, knowing that he would lose to a below-average swordfighter.

Show Jaime just tries to fight with one hand (use the gold hand as a shield!). He is one of the worst-adapted show characters, IMO. Nearly all of his complexity is lost.
 
Part of the problem might be that the showrunners are having trouble with Jaime's character. Book Jaime loses his hand and becomes useless as a fighter. He's forced to rely on his wits, knowing that he would lose to a below-average swordfighter.

Show Jaime just tries to fight with one hand (use the gold hand as a shield!). He is one of the worst-adapted show characters, IMO. Nearly all of his complexity is lost.
Click to expand...

They totally nailed his character until they sent him to Dorne. His speech about killing the Mad King to save the city from wildfire was epic.

The whole point of the Riverlands arc is that nobody knows he can't fight anymore, but he has an entire army to command, so he doesn't have to. He grows as a leader and develops his intellect to compensate for the loss of his fighting skills. The whole arc shows how he handles loss differently than his twin sister. Right now in the show it seems like he is trying to rescue Myrcella to win Cercei back. Which is another total departure form the source material. The whole 2 man secret rescue mission is bullshit. He literally can't fight worth a shit anymore.
 
*revenge of the nerd alert*

This season was likely going to be slow regardless of how close they stuck to the books. Books 4 and 5 have plenty of tedious parts.

On some aspects I'm glad they sped up the plot line (we don't need 23 episodes of Daenerys doing nothing in Mereen).

Similarly, they had the right idea to abandon the Jaime-wandering-aimlessly-in-the-Riverlands story, but didn't execute it well. The "Jaime and Bronn Visit Dorne" show plays out like a cheesy buddy cop movie, and the sand snakes are corny, leaving us with a total shit sandwich. The only redeeming factor is that we got to see some tits. BRB, JO

I'm liking the Bolton/Sansa part, and Arya's story is playing out nicely. Cersei's story is pretty true to the books and is working well.

I'm guessing that the last two episodes of the season will be awesome, and we will forget about how the rest of the season has been meh.

And whoever said we need more Khaleesi doggystyle poundins, I agree that it would fix everything.
Click to expand...

I'm not sure how I'd feel about Tyrion going all little person on Khaleesi though.....
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Supposedly it's good luck to suck a dwarf's cock.
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J, true?
 
The entire Dorne storyline in the show sucks ass.

Even on the opening credits, you get the half-assedness of it, when they lazily label the castle as "Dorne" rather than "Sunspear" or "The Water Gardens."

The Sand Snakes are terribad, even if one of them has really nice titties. All the nuance of Prince Doran's strategery is lost in the show, instead the Dornish are caricatured the way the Brits used to caricature the Wops.
 
Part of the problem might be that the showrunners are having trouble with Jaime's character. Book Jaime loses his hand and becomes useless as a fighter. He's forced to rely on his wits, knowing that he would lose to a below-average swordfighter.

Show Jaime just tries to fight with one hand (use the gold hand as a shield!). He is one of the worst-adapted show characters, IMO. Nearly all of his complexity is lost.
Click to expand...

They totally nailed his character until they sent him to Dorne. His speech about killing the Mad King to save the city from wildfire was epic.

The whole point of the Riverlands arc is that nobody knows he can't fight anymore, but he has an entire army to command, so he doesn't have to. He grows as a leader and develops his intellect to compensate for the loss of his fighting skills. The whole arc shows how he handles loss differently than his twin sister. Right now in the show it seems like he is trying to rescue Myrcella to win Cercei back. Which is another total departure form the source material. The whole 2 man secret rescue mission is bullshit. He literally can't fight worth a shit anymore.
Click to expand...

I agree with this. I had forgotten about some Jaime scenes from earlier seasons, but you're right.

Also agree about the Riverlands arc. It's great, but I'm still doubtful that it would have translated well to the show. Maybe I'm not giving the show audience enough credit.

What are the odds that next season is even more disappointing because they will have no source material, and we get more dumbed-down hijinks from the rest of the characters?
 
Part of the problem might be that the showrunners are having trouble with Jaime's character. Book Jaime loses his hand and becomes useless as a fighter. He's forced to rely on his wits, knowing that he would lose to a below-average swordfighter.

Show Jaime just tries to fight with one hand (use the gold hand as a shield!). He is one of the worst-adapted show characters, IMO. Nearly all of his complexity is lost.
Click to expand...

They totally nailed his character until they sent him to Dorne. His speech about killing the Mad King to save the city from wildfire was epic.

The whole point of the Riverlands arc is that nobody knows he can't fight anymore, but he has an entire army to command, so he doesn't have to. He grows as a leader and develops his intellect to compensate for the loss of his fighting skills. The whole arc shows how he handles loss differently than his twin sister. Right now in the show it seems like he is trying to rescue Myrcella to win Cercei back. Which is another total departure form the source material. The whole 2 man secret rescue mission is bullshit. He literally can't fight worth a shit anymore.
Click to expand...

I agree with this. I had forgotten about some Jaime scenes from earlier seasons, but you're right.

Also agree about the Riverlands arc. It's great, but I'm still doubtful that it would have translated well to the show. Maybe I'm not giving the show audience enough credit.

What are the odds that next season is even more disappointing because they will have no source material, and we get more dumbed-down hijinks from the rest of the characters?
Click to expand...

They're setting records even with this crappy season, so I don't expect much to change.

Plus people are complaining about the rape scenes instead of the bad writing, so if they change anything, it will be to dumb it down rather than fix actual issues.

I'll still watch, fuck it.
 
Hopefully by next season Winds of Winter will be out, and the showrunners will be able to use that
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I wouldn't hold my breath, there's 81% chance the fat old fuck croaks before any he finishes the series.
 
Barristan is one of the greatest swordsman to ever live and to kill him off like that was BS, agree there.

Also, they totally ignore the fucking awesome dire wolves and how all of the Starks seem to have an ability to warg with them. It's one of the most interesting parts of the story and we don't really get to see them that much.

GRRM better pick his shit up and write some good stories, plus write faster because you look like you could die any minute.

Also, I didn't know the actual duck read huge novels like that, impressive.
 
Hopefully by next season Winds of Winter will be out, and the showrunners will be able to use that
Click to expand...

I wouldn't hold my breath, there's 81% chance the fat old fuck croaks before any he finishes the series next book.
Click to expand...

Hopefully by next season Winds of Winter will be out, and the showrunners will be able to use that
Click to expand...

I wouldn't hold my breath, there's 8199.99% chance the fat old fuck croaks before any he finishes the series.
Click to expand...

 
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