Vinay Prasad
Dec 22
Dear Readers,
After 3 years of faithfully covering COVID 19 from my side of a zoom meeting, having done everything right, recently, the worst news imaginable struck. (See picture). I got COVID! But most importantly, here is what I want you to know: it is entirely your fault!
How did I get COVID?
I got it from a MAGA republican!
I was minding my own business at a holiday party, wearing a tight-fitting n95 and googles, as I have done for 2 years, and will continue for 45 more, when a MAGA republican approached me with drinks. I could tell he was MAGA because he hadn’t laminated his vaccine card and tied it to a string to wear around his neck.
“Want a drink?”
“No I can’t” I mumbled through my mask
“Why are you wearing a mask?” he asked
“Because I voted for Biden,” I replied
“What’s that underneath it” he asked
“That’s a cloth mask to keep my mask clean” I said
“Where is your face-shield?” he asked
“Right here,” I said reaching upwards, but nothing was there. Waves of panic began to fill my chest, where had it gone?” Obviously another MAGA republican had lifted it off of me when I wasn’t looking. Not only are they sneaky— who invited so many to the party I thought?
“Its here if you want one,” he said, and left the drink, and walked away.
Later, when I was overwhelmed with thirst, I decided to take a sip of water. I went to the doorway. First, I carefully unwrapped a syringe I had kept in my pocket. Still cold, I thought, and I boosted myself with the newest bivalent booster.
Then, when the breeze was strong, I slid my n95 to the side and carefully took a sip of water. But that is when someone pulled up in a Dodge Ram pickup truck with a big American flag on the bumper. The license plate was from Indiana. He looked my way and said, “How are you? Lovely weather here in SF!” I was scared! Then, I am pretty sure he coughed or cleared his throat. And that was the precise moment I got COVID19.
Of course, I also attended this party at #ASH22 where 30,000 blood cancer docs gathered maskless for days, but I couldn’t have gotten Covid there because everyone was a registered democrat!