Mario worst game-day coach at Oregon in my lifetime

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Swaye's Wigwam
One excruciatingly horrific call after another. I was shouting at the TV before each call only to watch him call what I feared and have it blow up in our faces.

Lining up in shotgun on 4th and 0.5yd to end the half instead of under center?? What the actual fuck???

Passing the ball on 2nd down with 2:18 to go only to have Anthony "Grandpa" Brown throw the ball at the feet of a wide open receiver 5 yards away, killing the clock and putting us 3rd and long?

The change in snap counts and stupid clapping AB was doing that caused not one but two false starts in a row! Those were intentionally different snap counts that took a simple objective, running the damn ball and the running out the clock, and made it complicated in the worst possible situation.

These are just a few that are burned into my eyes permanently and I'm too drunk to write anything else.

Mario can recruit but he needs to [live long and prosper] while suffering from full-blown aids every Saturday morning so that the assistants can call the game.

Moorhead, you better be really fucking sick or dead because your absence allowed Mario to kill the season to fucking Stanford. Fucking Stanford!! How many fucking times are we? going to give games away to overmatched fucking Stanford squads???

Fuck.
 
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This is what I envisioned when I created the Refuge
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You and the rest of the half-brains deserve to savor every second of this clusterfuck called Duck football.
 
One excruciatingly horrific call after another. I was shouting at the TV before each call only to watch him call what I feared and have it blow up in our faces.

Lining up in shotgun on 4th and 0.5yd to end the half instead of under center?? What the actual fuck???

Passing the ball on 2nd down with 2:18 to go only to have Anthony "Grandpa" Brown throw the ball at the feet of a wide open receiver 5 yards away, killing the clock and putting us 3rd and long?

The change in snap counts and stupid clapping AB was doing that caused not one but two false starts in a row! Those were intentionally different snap counts that took a simple objective, running the damn ball and the running out the clock, and made it complicated in the worst possible situation.

These are just a few that are burned into my eyes permanently and I'm too drunk to write anything else.

Mario can recruit but he needs to [live long and prosper] while suffering from full-blown aids every Saturday morning so that the assistants can call the game.

Moorhead, you better be really fucking sick or dead because your absence allowed Mario to kill the season to fucking Stanford. Fucking Stanford!! How many fucking times are we? going to give games away to overmatched fucking Stanford squads???

Fuck.
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I read all that.
 
My daughter, bless her she knows very little about football says “why are you yelling, they’ve won, there’s only 1:42 left”.

I told her honey, you have not see enough football to understand that this game is not over.

I have to watch some good football to wash the taste of that Shitshow from my mouth.
 
One excruciatingly horrific call after another. I was shouting at the TV before each call only to watch him call what I feared and have it blow up in our faces.

Lining up in shotgun on 4th and 0.5yd to end the half instead of under center?? What the actual fuck???

Passing the ball on 2nd down with 2:18 to go only to have Anthony "Grandpa" Brown throw the ball at the feet of a wide open receiver 5 yards away, killing the clock and putting us 3rd and long?

The change in snap counts and stupid clapping AB was doing that caused not one but two false starts in a row! Those were intentionally different snap counts that took a simple objective, running the damn ball and the running out the clock, and made it complicated in the worst possible situation.

These are just a few that are burned into my eyes permanently and I'm too drunk to write anything else.

Mario can recruit but he needs to [live long and prosper] while suffering from full-blown aids every Saturday morning so that the assistants can call the game.

Moorhead, you better be really fucking sick or dead because your absence allowed Mario to kill the season to fucking Stanford. Fucking Stanford!! How many fucking times are we? going to give games away to overmatched fucking Stanford squads???

Fuck.
Click to expand...

One excruciatingly horrific call after another. I was shouting at the TV before each call only to watch him call what I feared and have it blow up in our faces.

Lining up in shotgun on 4th and 0.5yd to end the half instead of under center?? What the actual fuck???

Passing the ball on 2nd down with 2:18 to go only to have Anthony "Grandpa" Brown throw the ball at the feet of a wide open receiver 5 yards away, killing the clock and putting us 3rd and long?

The change in snap counts and stupid clapping AB was doing that caused not one but two false starts in a row! Those were intentionally different snap counts that took a simple objective, running the damn ball and the running out the clock, and made it complicated in the worst possible situation.

These are just a few that are burned into my eyes permanently and I'm too drunk to write anything else.

Mario can recruit but he needs to [live long and prosper] while suffering from full-blown aids every Saturday morning so that the assistants can call the game.

Moorhead, you better be really fucking sick or dead because your absence allowed Mario to kill the season to fucking Stanford. Fucking Stanford!! How many fucking times are we? going to give games away to overmatched fucking Stanford squads???

Fuck.
Click to expand...

If MC had kicked the FG before half, instead of going all machismo, Furds final drive doesn’t matter. Instead he did exactly what Shaw expected.

AB pitches that to CJ and it’s an easy TD. Instead he spotted a micro hole in the humanity at the 2 yard line.
 
One excruciatingly horrific call after another. I was shouting at the TV before each call only to watch him call what I feared and have it blow up in our faces.

Lining up in shotgun on 4th and 0.5yd to end the half instead of under center?? What the actual fuck???

Passing the ball on 2nd down with 2:18 to go only to have Anthony "Grandpa" Brown throw the ball at the feet of a wide open receiver 5 yards away, killing the clock and putting us 3rd and long?

The change in snap counts and stupid clapping AB was doing that caused not one but two false starts in a row! Those were intentionally different snap counts that took a simple objective, running the damn ball and the running out the clock, and made it complicated in the worst possible situation.

These are just a few that are burned into my eyes permanently and I'm too drunk to write anything else.

Mario can recruit but he needs to [live long and prosper] while suffering from full-blown aids every Saturday morning so that the assistants can call the game.

Moorhead, you better be really fucking sick or dead because your absence allowed Mario to kill the season to fucking Stanford. Fucking Stanford!! How many fucking times are we? going to give games away to overmatched fucking Stanford squads???

Fuck.
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I read all that.
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Thank you. At least I used paragraphs to help you suffer through the entire body of work.
 
OP tweaked by Stalin
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So DIAFF is off limits now? This place is getting soft.
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This might be splitting hairs, but DIAFF is fine, but when you say "Mario needs to die in a fucking fire", it's a bit too much. You can certainly complain that it's six of one half dozen of another. But I don't want our site to be known for threatening death on coaches.
 
One excruciatingly horrific call after another. I was shouting at the TV before each call only to watch him call what I feared and have it blow up in our faces.

Lining up in shotgun on 4th and 0.5yd to end the half instead of under center?? What the actual fuck???

Passing the ball on 2nd down with 2:18 to go only to have Anthony "Grandpa" Brown throw the ball at the feet of a wide open receiver 5 yards away, killing the clock and putting us 3rd and long?

The change in snap counts and stupid clapping AB was doing that caused not one but two false starts in a row! Those were intentionally different snap counts that took a simple objective, running the damn ball and the running out the clock, and made it complicated in the worst possible situation.

These are just a few that are burned into my eyes permanently and I'm too drunk to write anything else.

Mario can recruit but he needs to [live long and prosper] while suffering from full-blown aids every Saturday morning so that the assistants can call the game.

Moorhead, you better be really fucking sick or dead because your absence allowed Mario to kill the season to fucking Stanford. Fucking Stanford!! How many fucking times are we? going to give games away to overmatched fucking Stanford squads???

Fuck.
Click to expand...

One excruciatingly horrific call after another. I was shouting at the TV before each call only to watch him call what I feared and have it blow up in our faces.

Lining up in shotgun on 4th and 0.5yd to end the half instead of under center?? What the actual fuck???

Passing the ball on 2nd down with 2:18 to go only to have Anthony "Grandpa" Brown throw the ball at the feet of a wide open receiver 5 yards away, killing the clock and putting us 3rd and long?

The change in snap counts and stupid clapping AB was doing that caused not one but two false starts in a row! Those were intentionally different snap counts that took a simple objective, running the damn ball and the running out the clock, and made it complicated in the worst possible situation.

These are just a few that are burned into my eyes permanently and I'm too drunk to write anything else.

Mario can recruit but he needs to [live long and prosper] while suffering from full-blown aids every Saturday morning so that the assistants can call the game.

Moorhead, you better be really fucking sick or dead because your absence allowed Mario to kill the season to fucking Stanford. Fucking Stanford!! How many fucking times are we? going to give games away to overmatched fucking Stanford squads???

Fuck.
Click to expand...

If MC had kicked the FG before half, instead of going all machismo, Furds final drive doesn’t matter. Instead he did exactly what Shaw expected.

AB pitches that to CJ and it’s an easy TD. Instead he spotted a micro hole in the humanity at the 2 yard line.
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Still never should be in shotgun at the 0.5 yd line on 4th down. Even assclown Roddy Gilmore says so.
 
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