How to Stop Having A Sex Life - Make an Excel List of All the Times Your Wife Won't Have Sex

AZDuck

AZDuck

New Fish
Yes, you won the argument.

Hope it was worth it, dude.

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http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/07/23/reddit-spreadsheet-sex-orgasm-gap_n_5613184.html
 
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Typical fluff from Huff Post, but I'll play along...

I like the 6/11/14 entry (ha ha) - "I'm still a bit tender from yesterday"

Did he bare-pickle her two hole?
 
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Ha, that reminds me of something I did when I lived with some random roommates in college.

I made a list of all the fucking stupid things they did, such as leaving raw chicken out on the kitchen counter overnight, trying to grill hamburgers on the oven rack wiring, putting clam shells in the garbage disposal (twice!), and much, much more.

The goal of getting to 100 by the end of the year, but I gave up when I reached 50 after one month.
 
Every now and again me and Mrs. AZDuck get into arguments where one or the other of us threatens to compile a list showing just how right each of us is, but both of us have thus far thought better of actually compiling said list because it would probably end the marriage.

This guy had better get a divorce lawyer on retainer, stat.
 
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From 6/3 to 7/16 she laid him 3 times.

door.ass.out.

Seriously, any girl who's not expecting some irritation from her bf/husband after that is too fucking stupid to be marriage material.
 
Only because Louis CK is hilarious...

Code: 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0--sA5Ah74
 
This guy should be honest and also compile a list of how many times he whacked it to porn during that timetable.
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OBK is right. Sounds like he doesn't compliment is wife enough, which explains her lack of confidence. A couple of private "I like that shirt with those jeans", "I like what you did with your hair" does wonders. Having a list of 10 to go to, and just sprinkling them around would increase his action by at least double. Or......................He could look like Fatters, and his wife is just being nice instead of telling him the real reason she won't bare saddle his vine. Who knows.....
 
Boys, apparently you've missed my simple economics lessons earlier. There are hundreds of 25 year old and younger chicks who are smoking hot and struggling to survive. A cell phone bill and car insurance for your side project is much cheaper than a lawyer, half your stuff, alimony, child support, and completely supporting the struggling 25 year old because you're now single and she's moving in.
 
I need to find one of these girls.

Not kidding.
Boys, apparently you've missed my simple economics lessons earlier. There are hundreds of 25 year old and younger chicks who are smoking hot and struggling to survive. A cell phone bill and car insurance for your side project is much cheaper than a lawyer, half your stuff, alimony, child support, and completely supporting the struggling 25 year old because you're now single and she's moving in.
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I need to find one of these girls.

Not kidding.
Boys, apparently you've missed my simple economics lessons earlier. There are hundreds of 25 year old and younger chicks who are smoking hot and struggling to survive. A cell phone bill and car insurance for your side project is much cheaper than a lawyer, half your stuff, alimony, child support, and completely supporting the struggling 25 year old because you're now single and she's moving in.
Click to expand...
Click to expand...

PM @IrishDawg22‌, I hear he has that stuff dialed in.
 
I need to find one of these girls.

Not kidding.
Boys, apparently you've missed my simple economics lessons earlier. There are hundreds of 25 year old and younger chicks who are smoking hot and struggling to survive. A cell phone bill and car insurance for your side project is much cheaper than a lawyer, half your stuff, alimony, child support, and completely supporting the struggling 25 year old because you're now single and she's moving in.
Click to expand...
Click to expand...

PM @IrishDawg22‌, I hear he has that stuff dialed in.
Click to expand...

Or wait for @Swaye‌'s next PSA on how to pick up sloots with low self-esteem
 
I need to find one of these girls.

Not kidding.
Boys, apparently you've missed my simple economics lessons earlier. There are hundreds of 25 year old and younger chicks who are smoking hot and struggling to survive. A cell phone bill and car insurance for your side project is much cheaper than a lawyer, half your stuff, alimony, child support, and completely supporting the struggling 25 year old because you're now single and she's moving in.
Click to expand...
Click to expand...

PM @IrishDawg22‌, I hear he has that stuff dialed in.
Click to expand...

Or wait for @Swaye‌'s next PSA on how to pick up sloots with low self-esteem
Click to expand...
Leykis jr?

 
Those women will weasel their way in to your place real fast. They'll also call you demanding you help with car trouble, make international calls on your phone, and go fuck other random guys.
 
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