Could someone on this bored....

Swaye

Swaye

Moderator
Staff member
Swaye's Wigwam
Founder's Club
...please make a synopsis thread on wtf happened yesterday. Like a fucking idiot doog I was checking my phone every 2 minutes to get the score....but I didn't see one play of the game, nor will I ever. So, I need the "why we are fucking useless" recap. I would prefer someone funny to give this.

Casino night bachelor party was great. I am still awake. Cocaine at about 4 AM to keep going. Fag groom gave up an hour ago so I am in his room on his shitty laptop putting animal porn on his computer that the bride will hopefully find after the wedding. I also banged a cocktail girl coming off shift at 2AM. So that was nice.

Cocktail girl > UW Football

Fuck Peterman. Anyone who loses at home to Cal is not the Coach we thought he was. I don't even need to see the game to know that.

For @TierbsHsotBoobs

tumblr_ni9e60ZMMZ1qliy1mo1_500.jpg


I hope I got FBA so I never have to watch UW Football again. FML.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Doogs lost
But Oregons a dumpster fire
Spooge takes random Mexican kids to McDonald's, @NSA_Dawg true???

Now you're caught up.
 
In a poor turn of events, the slut from last night has texted me 5 times in the last hour. Rookie mistake to give her my number. FML. Last text was "I know you are up, why won't you respond."

Someone please give me an update before I am stalked and killed by the drink girl.
 
In a poor turn of events, the slut from last night has texted me 5 times in the last hour. Rookie mistake to give her my number. FML. Last text was "I know you are up, why won't you respond."

Someone please give me an update before I am stalked and killed by the drink girl.
Click to expand...

Rookie mistake, but easily recoverable. Have some hangover sex with her, and then set your phone to filter her number. Abundance.
 
In a poor turn of events, the slut from last night has texted me 5 times in the last hour. Rookie mistake to give her my number. FML. Last text was "I know you are up, why won't you respond."

Someone please give me an update before I am stalked and killed by the drink girl.
Click to expand...

Rookie mistake, but easily recoverable. Have some hangover sex with her, and then set your phone to filter her number. Abundance.
Click to expand...

Good advice. Problem for me is the 2:15AM sex WAS hangover sex for me. I was falling down drunk by 8PM, and rallied late in the night. It was get off work sex for her. If I meet up with her again, she will go to clinger DEFCON 4. I am supposed to go some faggy brunch with all the lame assholes who passed out at 4AM in like an hour. If I can avoid her for three hours or so I am home free, headed back to Virginia, and filtering her number.

No reason to ever go to Baltimore again. Fuck this place.
 
In another depressing turn of events, it just hit my drug addled brain that this will probably be the game, 3 years from now, that everyone cites as when they knew Peterman wasn't the guy. And I missed it. Fuck.
 
PIIHB one more time, Swaye.

Do it for the boys.
Click to expand...

Maybe I should just to take pictures of her tits and PM them to DJ. I have no doubt this broad would let me take pics of her doing pretty much anything. Which gives me an idea...NTD, going to buy plunger.
 
In another depressing turn of events, it just hit my drug addled brain that this will probably be the game, 3 years from now, that everyone cites as when they knew Peterman wasn't the guy. And I missed it. Fuck.
Click to expand...

That was last year's Stanford game.
 
5 turnovers. Key fumbles by WRs and Warshington.

Our defense caved on 3rd downs. Lack of pressure and poor coverage resulted in cal having a 50% 3rd down conversion rate. Incredibly high.

Horrible blocking by our o-line.

Browning bad decisions.

Babushka deserves a shoe in the bag...so does Kawasaki.

That's it.
 
In another depressing turn of events, it just hit my drug addled brain that this will probably be the game, 3 years from now, that everyone cites as when they knew Peterman wasn't the guy. And I missed it. Fuck.
Click to expand...

That was last year's Stanford game.
Click to expand...

If you recall I literally fell off my couch and blacked out somewhere around halftime of that one....so I guess I can "kind of" claim I knew he was a douchebag on that one. Curse my red hide.
 
5 turnovers. Key fumbles by WRs and Warshington.

Our defense caved on 3rd downs. Lack of pressure and poor coverage resulted in cal having a 50% 3rd down conversion rate. Incredibly high.

Horrible blocking by our o-line.

Browning bad decisions.

Babushka deserves a shoe in the bag...so does Kawasaki.

That's it.
Click to expand...

Passion comes through! You are in Virginia right? If this chick kills me, you can have my Jeep.
 
5 turnovers. Key fumbles by WRs and Warshington.

Our defense caved on 3rd downs. Lack of pressure and poor coverage resulted in cal having a 50% 3rd down conversion rate. Incredibly high.

Horrible blocking by our o-line.

Browning bad decisions.

Babushka deserves a shoe in the bag...so does Kawasaki.

That's it.
Click to expand...

One more question. I was pretty high on our secondary...was the poor coverage a result of the lack of pressure/time for Goff to find guys, or was it just poor coverage?
 
5 turnovers. Key fumbles by WRs and Warshington.

Our defense caved on 3rd downs. Lack of pressure and poor coverage resulted in cal having a 50% 3rd down conversion rate. Incredibly high.

Horrible blocking by our o-line.

Browning bad decisions.

Babushka deserves a shoe in the bag...so does Kawasaki.

That's it.
Click to expand...

The defense didn't lose the game. Turnovers, fucktarded play calling and fucktarded play by the offense did.
 
In a poor turn of events, the slut from last night has texted me 5 times in the last hour. Rookie mistake to give her my number. FML. Last text was "I know you are up, why won't you respond."

Someone please give me an update before I am stalked and killed by the drink girl.
Click to expand...

If she doesn't live that close to you, it'll be fine once you leave.

Unless she's a total psycho.

I mean LEAVE
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top