"Kirk, just picture this scenario. You're in the national championship game, decked in white and silver with Donald Duck's gay brother's insignia on the shoulders. You're wearing a champions helmet: abstract pussy wings adorn the sides or your battle helm. You're getting prison fucked by a team from Ohio in front of 30,000 sobbing but ever-so-faithful Duck fans. I'm there on the sidelines with a puzzled look on my face as I try to pick from one of 4 of Chip's trick plays that I know won't work. You're desperately trying to contact your soon-to-be-agent about which CFL team will take you. Times goes by, your heisman qb gets destroyed, then your backup. More time goes by. Gold and white confetti falls from the rafters as you walk back to the locker room. Crying methheads scream that they still love their ducks. Just picture it, Kirk."
