So... an actual duck walks into a tacky tiki bar in Edmonds

AZDuck

AZDuck

New Fish
They had a fucking windstorm there today, and so it took twice as long to fly there than he expected.

The power was out, and so the bartender said "you have to pay cash for beer, I'm sorry we don't have any food."

The actual duck fished five dollars out of his feathers for a beer, and as the bartender was pouring it, asked "so, can I have a sandwich?"

The bartender gave the duck his beer, and replied, "I told you, the power's out, so there's no food."

The actual duck drinks his beer and waddles away.

A few minutes later, the duck hops back up onto the bar.

"So, can I have a sandwich?"

At this point, the bartender is annoyed. "I told you already, we can't serve any food with the power out. If you ask me for a sandwich again, I'll nail your fucking flipper to the floor." As things would have it, they don't much care for actual ducks in Edmonds.

After a while, the duck hops back up to the bar.

"Got any nails?"

The bartender replies "No."

"Can I have a fucking sandwich?"
 
When I was wee lad in the world of bidness a guy once said ... learn a joke inside and out ... be able to tell it at a moments notice ... and keep it clean.

The above joke is the one I have used throughout my career, without the swear words.
 
The weird thing is that scenario actually kinda happened today

But yeah, one of my fave clean jokes
 
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So a Duck walks into a bar ... Opens up his beak ... And proves to be way more TL, DR than I could ever hope to be
 
I learned that joke from my uncle, a Beaver, whose sons were a Wildcat, a Husky, and a Duck.

Needless to say his third son can't walk anymore.
 
That was a different feel to it, with us sitting there in the semi-dark and no TVs blaring or anything like that.
 
That was a different feel to it, with us sitting there in the semi-dark and no TVs blaring or anything like that.
Click to expand...
It was almost like back home in the basement, but no TV or hot pockets.
 
They had a fucking windstorm there today, and so it took twice as long to fly there than he expected.

The power was out, and so the bartender said "you have to pay cash for beer, I'm sorry we don't have any food."

The actual duck fished five dollars out of his feathers for a beer, and as the bartender was pouring it, asked "so, can I have a sandwich?"

The bartender gave the duck his beer, and replied, "I told you, the power's out, so there's no food."

The actual duck drinks his beer and waddles away.

A few minutes later, the duck hops back up onto the bar.

"So, can I have a sandwich?"

At this point, the bartender is annoyed. "I told you already, we can't serve any food with the power out. If you ask me for a sandwich again, I'll nail your fucking flipper to the floor." As things would have it, they don't much care for actual ducks in Edmonds.

After a while, the duck hops back up to the bar.

"Got any nails?"

The bartender replies "No."

"Can I have a fucking sandwich?"
Click to expand...

You're supposed to ask the woman for the sammich
 
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