A copy of the response has been obtained.
Dear DOGE,
I hope you’re doing well! I’ve always considered myself a centrist—trying to see both sides of the coin, you know? Keeps me grounded, even if it’s not the most exciting stance to take.
Honestly, I don’t recall doing much of anything last week. It’s all kind of a blur—maybe I was just coasting through, or maybe I’ve got the memory of a goldfish these days. Either way, nothing worth reporting there.
I hate to shift gears like this, but I’ve got some bad news for you… It’s not easy to say, and I’m not even sure how to soften the blow. Well, you know the rest…