This isn't advice someone gave me. It's what I learned myself. Dont try to "get through it". Grief feels better than emptiness.
My Dad is really the only close person I've lost to date. I'd have dreams about him and instead of waking up sad I'd be happy that I got to spend that time with him. Instead of being overwhelmed by the waves of sadness that would come over me during the day, I learned to relish them as I felt close to him during those moments.
The frequency of those moments and the dreams eventually fade and I missed them when they were gone. I decided that grief was a gift to be embraced, not overcome.
My mom died a few months after I graduated high school. The night she died, I had the most vivid dream where I walked into her hospital room and the nurse was disconnecting the IVs and various sensors. Mom was on the bed but also standing next to me and told me it was ok that it was time for her to go. I woke up in the morning with a sense of relief and calm. It's still probably the most vivid dream I've ever had and swear it was mom's spirit telling me to not worry.
I guess I was lucky that my Ma and Pa died at a ripe old age. I missed getting to see my Dad at the hospital by a few minutes. Bro in law's fault that I held a grudge on for years. Lucky for me they lived in Yuma and I was in SD so drove and saw them many times during his last year. I moved back up here and he rushed up here in the middle of the summer (which he never would do) to die. So I actually took it well.
My ma died many years later and was old. She was suffering from Alzheimer's and other stuff so it was a blessing. But she went out fighting, I might still have some bruises.
My sister dying shook me up the most and a brother that just passed away 8 weeks ago was not a big deal as he was on disability for the past 41 years due to a serious accident.
So every one is different, deal with it the best you can. I found laffing to be the best. Me and my other brother chuckle it up many times reminiscing about those that are gone. Sorry about it just the same.[/b]
My mom died a few months after I graduated high school. The night she died, I had the most vivid dream where I walked into her hospital room and the nurse was disconnecting the IVs and various sensors. Mom was on the bed but also standing next to me and told me it was ok that it was time for her to go. I woke up in the morning with a sense of relief and calm. It's still probably the most vivid dream I've ever had and swear it was mom's spirit telling me to not worry.
My mom died a few months after I graduated high school. The night she died, I had the most vivid dream where I walked into her hospital room and the nurse was disconnecting the IVs and various sensors. Mom was on the bed but also standing next to me and told me it was ok that it was time for her to go. I woke up in the morning with a sense of relief and calm. It's still probably the most vivid dream I've ever had and swear it was mom's spirit telling me to not worry.